When trying to find freedom

I love this poem a woman recently wrote about her experience with breaking free from the emotional abuse


Needing a hug and a long embrace

But I arrived home to an empty place.

One that’s filled with fractured dreams

Memories of what others haven’t seen


Slowly the chipping away began

All from a nicely portrayed man

My blindfold was on tight

But something deep down wasn’t right.


I couldn’t put my finger on it

It was mostly implicit

Eventually I learned, just go with it


Life was easier that way

But then I started to hide away


The ache

The pain

It was normal I was sure

But it kept going and formed a new substructure 


I wanted to please

I wanted to make it right

But it turned into fight after fight


The quieter I became

The better it got

The eggshells were everywhere

Peace there was not


The stripping was slow

The conflict high

Good times were hopeful

The confusion woeful


Slowly the lights inside went out

It must be me I thought...

he was devout.


The weight of the shame

The facade of health

I was longing for inner wealth


The isolation was dark

The fear was rising

He put his hands on me 

The tears were rising


The fight in me had left

I was sinking deep

I got lost in the hurt 

I couldn’t see it was mostly covert


The vision got clearer when he got loud

The change in eyes was going to deliver my shroud. 


Survival mode set in

This was all too uncertain

I knew it was time to pull back the curtain


I’m beat down, crumpled and tossed

I cannot handle another loss

Please hear me when I say

I can’t do this another day


He has eaten away my dignity

Put his spin on his own enmity.

But that’s not the end of story.

This involves the God of glory.


He has seen it all

And pulled me out

I didn’t understand what this was all about


I thought I was supposed to stay no matter what. 

But was there a caveat?

Marriage was my idol

I was going to die on that hill

But I learned, that wasn’t my Father’s will.


He gave me a flickering light in the dark

And brought very specific people in my arc.

I was told my boat will float.

And this is not the time to sugarcoat.


God never left.  He was always there.

His unyielding love always preserves.


Even when I can’t see it.

Even when I doubt.

His goodness got me out.