I love this poem a woman recently wrote about her experience with breaking free from the emotional abuse
Needing a hug and a long embrace
But I arrived home to an empty place.
One that’s filled with fractured dreams
Memories of what others haven’t seen
Slowly the chipping away began
All from a nicely portrayed man
My blindfold was on tight
But something deep down wasn’t right.
I couldn’t put my finger on it
It was mostly implicit
Eventually I learned, just go with it
Life was easier that way
But then I started to hide away
It was normal I was sure
But it kept going and formed a new substructure
I wanted to please
I wanted to make it right
But it turned into fight after fight
The quieter I became
The better it got
The eggshells were everywhere
Peace there was not
The stripping was slow
The conflict high
Good times were hopeful
The confusion woeful
Slowly the lights inside went out
It must be me I thought...
he was devout.
The weight of the shame
The facade of health
I was longing for inner wealth
The isolation was dark
The fear was rising
He put his hands on me
The tears were rising
The fight in me had left
I was sinking deep
I got lost in the hurt
I couldn’t see it was mostly covert
The vision got clearer when he got loud
The change in eyes was going to deliver my shroud.
Survival mode set in
This was all too uncertain
I knew it was time to pull back the curtain
I’m beat down, crumpled and tossed
I cannot handle another loss
Please hear me when I say
I can’t do this another day
He has eaten away my dignity
Put his spin on his own enmity.
But that’s not the end of story.
This involves the God of glory.
He has seen it all
And pulled me out
I didn’t understand what this was all about
I thought I was supposed to stay no matter what.
But was there a caveat?
Marriage was my idol
I was going to die on that hill
But I learned, that wasn’t my Father’s will.
He gave me a flickering light in the dark
And brought very specific people in my arc.
I was told my boat will float.
And this is not the time to sugarcoat.
God never left. He was always there.
His unyielding love always preserves.
Even when I can’t see it.
Even when I doubt.
His goodness got me out.