Where do I "begin"?

HELP!!   I will have to say that I was "officially" diagnosed about 5 months ago, after being told by my family physician that he could no longer prescribe Adderall XR without a Clinical Diagnosis.  My "unofficial" diagnosis began about 5 years ago, after my son was diagnosed and a different family doctor asked me a couple of questions and wrote out a rx for Ritalin...then a few months later Concerta...then Adderall and after that...Adderall XR.  There was no counseling suggested...no resources provided...just "take this and see how you do on it".   Of course being "self diagnosed" with ADHD...I thought all I needed to do was "just what the doctor ordered" and take the meds like they told me to and everything would be fine.  However...it's finally sinking in that there's an awful lot more that goes along with ADHD than just taking your meds and expecting that to work.  I've tried making lists and trying to get more organized, my wife got me a copy of "The complete idiots guide to Adult ADHD"   (i'm a 47 yr. old male)  and I've found this website.  But that's about it and I still feel like I'm not seeing much progress in learning how to live with ADHD.  I'm certain that I've been ADHD since childhood, as I have looked back at my grade school report cards and read teachers comments like "he is a bright student, but he just needs to apply himself more"  Those type of comments filled up the entire 6 years of elementary school.  I have failed in 2 previous marriages and about to fail in a third, if I don't get a better handle on myself.  I've been married for 13 years to my current wife and I constantly hear from her that "It's like being married to one of our children". 

I've been successful in my career and never been without employment.  In fact...we've been very blessed that she has been able to stay at home and raise our 2 children without having to work.  I feel like I'm a good father but a lousy husband and I truly want help in doing the right things to overcome my issues related to ADHD.  I just don't really know where to turn...who to turn to...what to read...who to trust...what things to do...etc. in order to make some progress in improving my life skills, which in turn I believe would dramatically improve my marriage, home life and overall happiness.  Just like most marriages with an ADHD spouse and an ADHD child...our household is pure bedlam at times.  In an attempt to become what a real Husband and Father is supposed to look like and act like...I MUST discover ways/methods/skills that will help me manage my ADHD symptoms. 


A couple of ideas

Hi HSAR...

I noticed your entry here and may have a couple of useful resources for you. 

1. This is a very straight-forward and practical manual of good tips that you can use right away: 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, Ph.D. 

2. Melissa's book The ADHD Effect on Marriage gives a 6-step approach to improving relationship interactions and explains what it is like to be in either shoes: the ADHD spouse and the non-ADHD spouse....and discusses behaviors both can alter in order to smooth the lines of communication. Since you are already working with your medication you really are already on your way to a better situation. Try not to lose heart or give up but, instead, get "educated" as I am currently trying to do. :)

Both books give helpful info on the medications angle, depending upon where you are in that step.

I really hope you find hope and encouragement and would enjoy hearing how you are doing in the process.





You have already begun...

If you are here seeking knowledge about your condition you are in a good place. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and have responded well to Adderall, but my improvement also is aided by continued study and some counseling. Keep reading and posting and you might be surprised as to what you can learn. You can't change what has been done, but if you understand what drove some of the behaviors you CAN improve your situation. It takes a lot of patience and time to re-learn years of bad coping skills. Hang in there and don't give up!