Who do you tell? Who listens?

So, I'm having a hard time finding people to talk to.  I've told a friend of mine, who has had to listen to all the ups and downs (mostly downs) of this relationship, that my husband has been diagnosed with ADHD.  And I told him how some of the things that he's done correlate to ADHD symptoms.  And my friend got kinda mad.  He said that I was making up excuses for him and that any of those things that I mentioned, any "normal" guy could do and maybe he's just a jerk.  I tried to explain I wasn't making excuses, I was just trying to understand.  I tried a different friend who just kinda shrugged, mumbled an apology and said he didn't know what to say.

My question here is, who do you talk to?  Is this a common reaction?  Do you tell family? Do you tell friends?  How do you distinguish between things that would look like rude and uncaring things my husband says or does versus the way he thinks and such?  Help, please.