I have asked myself this but I dont think I was as serious as I am now. Im so sad. Im angry. Im frustrated. I can NEVER get my time that I have invested back. I can never get the trust or respect back from my kids that I have lost over the last 10 years and I still cant get out. How do you begin? My spouse has not been DX but through my own *stories* of events and his reactions (or lack there of) my therapist of 5 years has said shes willing to put $$$ that he has adhd and he is narcissist. Our marriage already lacking trust and security just got hit with another bomb that I dont think he'd be able to understand my point of view because he totally lacks common sense. For 2 weeks now I have been trying to work past my feelings and its just getting worse. Its the type of situation where my gut intuition told me not to go with something and he told me I was being paranoid and uptight so I gave in....now 9 years later I found out I should have went with what I felt and Im so mad at him for it. Now whats following is every friggen thing that he ever made me feel that way about, Its all wrong in my opinion because he knew nothing of what he was talking about and I trusted him. Even though I had doubt in the back of my head he always seem to be able to "recover" from a fail (which was very frequent), but not this time. He still didnt take any ownership in the situation. It involves his dad and he would never disrespect him. I wouldnt expect him to. He just was able to excuse himself by saying that I was upset with him (the dad) because of something I had heard that happened 9 years ago. Then my husband proceeded to tell me, Im not taking sides, Im not saying I believe you or him. I just need counseling. (which he still hasnt made an appt for) I even brought him a card from our marriage counselor from some years ago. Tired of being his backbone (as he says) when I dont even have one for myself :( Recently I have been dx with major depression. placed on 2 antidepressants that allow me to speak my mind. I seriously dont see it as a bad thing but hes having a hard time dealing with it. Im pretty sure my marriage is over, he probably knows it is too. Its just when am I gonna say it cause God knows he would NOT. I do everything for him. he is extremely comfortable. One thing I do not get though is he does work. He maintained within the same company with my s dad for these past 12 years. Moving his way up to a 6 figure salary all of a sudden along with the economy his income took a hit. Recently he shared with me how much he hates his job, has hated it and the only reason why he stayed is because all the other SIL couldnt hang and he didnt want to be a <insert bad wrord> so it began to make sense to me. The economy didnt take his income, he walked away because my dad retired. He convinced me that it was in fact a good thing because then he could be home to help me with the kids but in fact it makes it harder on me cause he doesnt do anything but sit on his ass on his computer.....I have fought for 3 modifications for this house during this "economic crisis". end result is bankruptcy and we are walking away anyway. does he care? nope. is he concerned? nope. will he help pack? nope. will he help look for another place to live? nope. is he stressed out? nope. but when his computer crashed the other day BOY was he on it! one night he skipped dinner all together came home from work and went straight for his computer. done venting...i just need to know how to start the conversation when he thinks everything is just hunky dory that everything is NOT hunky dori....certainly my actions should tell him that things are not ok but im telling you he HAS no common sense.