"Why" for me seems to mean everything for me. It almost seems as if...it is the foundation from which I know anything: what to do, why to do it, how to do it, and when to do it and where to do it. It's almost as if.... If I can't can't understand why...then it seems I can't understand anything? It just seems that way to me but I also know that's not always true...as I'm saying it. Getting past the why for me at times....seems to be the biggest challenge I have to getting past most of the obstacles I've faced in dealing with this "why" issue I have. Why, why, why!!!! I need to know why!!! lol
And if I don't know.....it bugs the crap out of me!!! lol Why is that? I have learned however....to let this go too. (but it never really goes away either even if I let it go for now. I just know now....that it will be waiting for me later. So letting it go really....is just postponing the inevitable...for when ever that happens and not really letting it go of it completely.) As long as I don't worry....I won't think about it even if I still want to know? That's the real test for me...if whether I've let it go or not (for now lol )
I may have included my favorite "why" story here before...but it's buried somewhere (thinking?).. and I think this is a really good one ad worth mentioning again because this is one that my wife really related to and remembered. I can't remember specifically the person who told this story....but it was from a psychologist who was recalling this story from what a client had told him. That's all I remember about that only....this was a true story and not some fable or fictional tale. As it was told.
This man, was having a great deal of trouble with his wife in that she was very fixated with doing things a certain way. He had learned not to bring things up with her since it only caused problems whenever he did since she got very defensive if he questioned her. (that would be soooo me, which is why I like this story)
Anyway....his wife had this thing about cutting the ends off a ham before she prepared it to put in the oven. He noticed this...and finally asked her "why" she cut the ends off the Ham. Apparently, she didn't have an exact answer other than this was the way her mother did it. Knowing better not to push for an explanation that she didn't have.....the man had a chance one time with her mother in private to ask about this? Her answer was...."this was the way my mother did it...so I always did that too?" But she did say if I recall, that she really didn't know why her mother did it that way?
So now, since the moms mom (the grandmother) was still alive at the time. The man got the chance to finally go right to the source and ask the horse.....why? The answer? Apparently, the Grandmother only had one size pan to cook with and she had to cut the ends off the ham to get it in the pan. That's it. That's the only reason why?
And two generations later.....this is the way, that ham is done and yet no one ever asked why or questioned the reasons for it?
I've used this story to reference a lot of things or topics with my wife who really like this story when I told her. Anytime I've used it with her....it's always a successful interaction and she has even used it with me to do the same when ever there seems to be something that we are not understanding or agreement on in order to get us both on the same page. It seems to be a story that my wife can relate to in the same way I can and that right there is a good place to start when ever we start missing each other or unable to explain things sometimes. For that reason alone....I thought it was worth bringing up again.