I am seriously thinking of filing for divorce from my diagnosed ADHD husband. I don't know that all of the problems we have can be attributed to his ADHD, and of course I realize i'm not perfect :), but I can't stand this life any longer. He doesn't even see what he's doing. He seriously has worked less than 40% of the time during our 7 years of marriage and many of those jobs were very poor paying ones. Yet he says (and acts like he truly believes) that he has worked his butt off and contributed to the household. He went through our entire savings trying to start various businesses, that all failed, and I ended up filing bankruptcy (which just about killed me because I swore I would never do that!) just to be able to keep my home and survive. He didn't want to file and most everything was in my name (because he had bad credit so I was always the one taking responsibility) so I ended up filing by myself. Yet he looks at all of this as no big deal and keeps saying things will improve and all our dreams will come true very soon. I'm not sure how that's going to happen when he works part time for a very low hourly wage!
On top of the money problems that have plagued us since the beginning (I was by no means wealthy when we met but I was living comfortably) we fight about everything. He has a temper and lays into me verbally any time I speak my mind and he doesn't agree with me. I want to move forward in life yet we have been going backwards or sitting stagnant for the entire 7 years. He talks a good game and I guess that's why I've stayed. He makes promises and tells me about all the things he is going to do, but I've never seen him follow through. He has health problems and uses that as an excuse but he is by no means disabled. Our home is a disaster, yet it wasn't when we met. I always kept up my home but when he moved in it started looking like a dump. He doesn't throw anything away and even allowed his deadbeat adult sons to drop their junk off here. Because I lost my home equity line of credit when I filed for bankruptcy I no longer have the money to make home repairs or even pay someone to come out and clean up. Husbands excuse for not cleaning up is either that he will need the junk in the future or he isn't physically able to do the work.
Through all of this I have turned into an angry, resentful, bitter person and I know I'm not easy to live with because of it. But how do you let all of this just roll off of your back and pretend you life isn't in a shambles? I absolutely hate the thought of going through another divorce (this will be my second) because I swore this one would be forever. But I'm losing my sanity and I see my single friends meeting these great guys who have their lives together and treat my friends so well. I never even got a real wedding ring! All I got was a $20 steel band that I was told would be replaced with a decent one with at least a small diamond...I'm still waiting. I feel like a complete fool by allowing him to suck me in like this. I'm not a stupid woman but I sure feel like one now. There have been so many times i have wondered if he was just scamming me, using me to take care of him. But I truly believe he loves me and after reading so many of your posts here on this forum I see that much of this is the "norm" for someone with ADHD.
So I ask why in the world is it so hard for me to move on? I can't be worse off on my own than I am with him. So why is this so hard???