Hey all, I'm new here so go easy lol. First of all, I know most of the problems in my marriage I brought on myself. I have been diagnosed, and I do take meds. I've made some mistakes I'm not ready to fully discuss. For the last maybe year, my drinking has gotten worse (bad coping skill I know), and so has my ADHD. My wife has slowly started withholding affection and intimacy from me. She says she's "guarding" herself. I have stopped drinking and plan on doing so for a few months at least. Anyway, things have gotten pretty bad lately and it's hard to communicate. If I talk about my feelings, she gets mad. She says she's trying to trust me again. I get that. It's just hard because it feels like I'm being punished, and the punishment doesn't fit the crime. I think it is just going to take some time to get back to a good place with her. And I get impatient. I know that will be a difficult one bc you don't know all the details. But I just wondered if anyone else out there might be going through something similar?
Wife about done with me
Submitted by some_dude on 03/18/2022.
Hey mate, Im pretty much in
Submitted by LFCNZ on
Hey mate, Im pretty much in the same place you are, well a bit worse as my wife are having time part, we have been together coming up 20 years.
I was only diagnosed Dec 2021 at age 50. I had gone to counseling to try to wok on cutting down my drinking(I now know iI was using to self medicate, to slow down my brain) and in turn the therapist suggested I had ADHD(thought she didn't know what she was talking about), but reading up on it, I realized I was Inattentive ADHD and diagnosed as such.
My wife actually didn't want me to take meds, which caused some issues as I thought why not if they will help.
In my case the more I've read about ADHD and reflected on issues in our relationship, the more I've come to the conclusion I cant be the man that she needs to make her happy and that Im unhappy in the relationship too, which pains me to say.
I always thought I just needed to try harder, but obviously that never worked and Im pretty sure the same patterns will repeat if we get back together.
Im resigned to the fact, I am better off being alone as I dont want to hurt anyone else, I can only do relationships that I guess are not too serious, as I just get too self absorbed in my own thoughts etc.....