Wife is giving up

I have recently started on meds for my ADHD. I am 52 and have been married to my wife for 21 years. About a month before finding out that I had ADHD, my wife had enough and told me she wanted a divorce. She feels angry, lonely and like she lost all love for me. At this point we have not filed for a divorce and are still living together with our four childern. My question is how do I get my wife to come to this site to get a better understanding of what she and myself are going thru. As for myself I love my wife deeply and feel nothing but guilt and shame for putting her thru this for 21 years. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Dave