Oh, how ADHD seems to soak through all areas of my life. I need help as I have hit rock bottom (or close to it).
Summing it up:
2 1/2 years ago I had cervical cancer(radical hysterectomy/radiation)
which started sudden surgical menopause at age 31.
I was later diagnosed with combo type ADHD chatty Kathy type after 3 years of being treated for depression/anxiety
I teach 1st grade and have done so for 8 1/2 years. I have a huge heart for the ADHD child or kids who need that personal touch/love from their teachers. I pride myself on being "real to kids"---
I have a 6 year old MINI ME who is ADHD combo type on Vyvance PLUS a low dose Respidall (spell?) for separation anxiety, poss. ODD, negative attitude, difficult personality.
Anyhow--the surgical menopause has basically taken me to a state of constant anxiety, depression, like I am swimming to stay afloat. I can't separate my work/motherhood/wifehood -----it all goes together to constant stress and pressure. I feel like all the people in my life (micromanging work, critical type A hubby, perfectionist people) only find my faults.....and they don't help bring me up. I am so starved to feel I am good enough------yet I have been sinking all year.
My husband (God Bless him) has been through it with my cancer and ADHD----but at times I have felt he is mentally,verbally, emotionally abusive to me.......well the counselor has eluded to it.
Our kindergartner has had a rough year of not wanting to go to school and other health issues that have made me even later for work than I usually am. So, I have taken a leave of absense for depresion/anxiety---
Does hormonal issues effect ADHD ? I feel like I have lost my mind.....I take compouded hormones, Adderall, Effexor, Cymbalta,----
Do some people literally have to stop working full time due to all of the stress ADHD puts on families?
And what modifications can I ask for from my boss for the ADHD ? I have gone from SUPER TEACHER to SUPER MESSY STRESSED OUT UNABLE TO GET TO WORK ON TIME......:(
And I have absolutely NO interest in SEX even before the cancer--it is so hard to initiate it......when the meds wear off I am ready for sleep.
Any advice would be so wonderful.
I hear Dr. Hallowell in my mind saying "The most important things are WHO you marry and WHERE you work." Maybe I have chosen wrong in both areas. I feel like such a disappointment to my husband, kids, and employer......I try so very hard....and between hormone appointments, ADHD appointments for my daughter/myself, counseling (marrital, individual, and child)---I am lost as to what to do next.
I have almost felt like everyone would be better off if I were gone....I would never do that, but I feel like such a failure....