I have been with my partner for 6 VERY rocky years. Beginning of this year he got the diagnosis of inattentive type ADD which explains A LOT! The question we are facing now is medication... his doctor is currently evaluating with his cardiologist what kind he can take etc.
one of my biggest pain points and triggers from my childhood I have to relive with him regularly, is that I feel forgotten. When he is not physically with me, or away for weekends or work trips he doesn't text, doesn't communicate, barely calls... I have explained, I have begged, I have reasoned and argued on why we need regular communication (for practical reasons) but also why I need it personally due to my childhood wounds. But it's like he is simply incapable of being in regular contact. He functions fine at work..it's just me that slips his mind all the time, and whilst I try to tell myself "he doesn't mean it" how can I not take it personal?! Why should I stay with someone that makes me relive my earliest trauma of abandonment over and over? Do people with abandonment wounds and an ADD/ADHD partner ever get to be happy or have a happy relationship where the good days outweigh the bad days?
my main question to non-adhd partners who are with someone that takes meds: will he be giving me more attention on meds? will he remember me, remember to text, to call etc?
My question to ADHD/ADD partners: how are the meds changing you, helping you? Do they help you be more conscious of your partners needs? Remember them more often and remember to respond to texts/calls, be in touch, etc?
I read the stories in this forum and I am TERRIFIED to still be in this another 6years later... so many people seem to stay in unhappy relationships (including me) for no good reason. Even if it gets better like Melissa says, with awareness, treatment, will it ever be more joy than pain? Sounds like only if the non-adhd partner always compromises much more.