My first relationship was ended 2 weeks ago. It was a long distance relationship with my ex girlfriend and we dated for 8 months. I'm 20 from New York and she's 24 from Ottawa (400 miles) about a 6.5-7 hour card ride. We met in person at a discord friend group meet up and we hit it off after a few months of flirting before. I then flew up to visit her for a week in February, and then for 2 weeks in late June/early July. We called every night and watched tv shows together for hours. Both of us were doing online school at the time and not working, along with both of us being very introverted we were able to make this work.
I didn't know anything about ADHD before I met her. She told me very early on she doesn't say the nicest things all the time, but she shows her love in other ways like doing chores for me. She also really valued her alone time. Every night when we were in person, we'd lay in bed and she would go on her phone for at least an hour playing games. She said she needed to do this to relax and recharge. She was diagnosed and on medication only a few years ago.
Before then she used to go out to bars and clubs every night at college, but now she's a homebody and whenever I would suggest we should go out together, I can tell she did not want to and we would just stay home. When we were on the phone together I suggested doing other things than watching tv like playing games but she only wanted to lie and bed and chill so we did that.
After the last time I visited her we had talked about her coming to visit me and my family either later in the summer or in the fall when she was off from school, which she was now going to be more busy with because she was starting student teaching. The visit never happened and she seemed to be distant after our last visit, which went great. She responded later to my good morning texts, we stopped going to sleep on the calls together, she even told me that "the honey moon phase has ended". Lastly she snapped at me one night and said she needed time to herself and no more calls for a little while. My heart sank when she said this
We did not talk for almost 2 weeks. Only some brief texting, some of which she ignored. When she had returned she said she was going to be so busy this fall which school and working 30+ hours a week and she also needs her alone time. So she didn't see how we could talk or visit each other enough. She said she was ending it and for the next 2 years she was going to be too busy for a relationship. I was shocked, upset, and heartbroken. Her birthday was a week later and I had just bought her diamond earrings that I was about to mail to her. For 7 months everything went great and she was everything I ever wanted. Early on I did feel unloved at times but I still loved her and knew she showed her love in other ways
She also mentioned that we were running out of things to talk about. Which is true but I believed that with both of us being more busy and talking less often, that our calls would be better moving forward. But she kept reaffirming that the main reason is that we wouldn't be able to see each other at all.
About a week later I found out my exact schedule for this year with work and school. I was able to drive up to her once a month for a few days at a time on as soon as a weeks notice. I tried pitching this idea to her and we agreed to call. But she texted me later that night saying she's busy and can't call for a few days but she still wanted to know over text. I told her that my schedule opened up but I couldn't even finish my sentence before she told me how "it's not your schedule that's the issue, it's mine". I went on to tell her that my schedule opened up and that we could see each other more often than we thought we could, but I pretty much accepted defeat at that point and apologized for misunderstanding.
i thought she would just say ok and instead just said she'll think about it. It's been a week and I haven't heard from her since. She doesn't answer her phone a lot anyway so I'm wondering if she ever will text me again. It's my first relationship but she really has so many qualities that I've wanted in a woman. I just don't know what to do at this point or if there's any hope at all I can get her back