a while ago I posted something here about when to divorce my husband who has ADHD. I got some feedback which was helpful. I have decided to go into counseling myself and even the therapist saw the amount of anger and resentment as a key point. However for me what was driving behing alot of the anger and resentment was a lot of anxiety. I never know what to expect day to day living with someone like this. I am now on an anti-anxiety medication. I walk...I do yoga... I now go to al-anon meetings..and she advised me to get away from him if he does stuff that is pushing my buttons (like go read or something). So far this is working.
My guard is dropping a little to the point I don't even yell at him when he tells me he loves me and telll him to stop telling me that.
my focus is on me and my future now and it doesn't so much matter if he is in it or not. I"m not pushing him away or activily yelling at him anymore like I was. I am more happy this way. Not to mention I'm getting physically healthier.
He responds to this by stating good for you. I do feel we lack intamacy. I don't see him much through out the week. And instead I'm finding other things to do that are positive so I'm not watching him space out and feeling rejected. OR I"m not begging him for his attention and hearing him say that he is just so tired from work. He only has so many hours home from work before he goes to bed and the guality of the hours he gives me is rather poor. So instead I moved on and gave up. My old best friend doesn't want to play "ball anymore." So I guess I"m in morning now. But at least I'm not neglecting myself sitting in the sandbox alone anymore. I've moved on.
thanks for reading.