I found this site earlier tonight via Google searches. Searches like "husband is never wrong" "husband won't accept an opposing opinion because he's never wrong" "husband insists everyone is against him", including wife and father in law who would never interfere unless it was a last resort and oh the search list could go on and on. Much like my husband who is gone a lot with work, but obsesses constantly about trivial stupid shit and every single god damn phone call when he's away turns into one big stress mess and he's now made it impossible for me to be remotely happy when he comes home and as a wife I should be and it's killing me. We've known each other going on 20 years, separated for 11 and we have a daughter who is a senior in high school. It's one thing to make me cry take stress out on me but it all changed last week when my baby had a panic attack while he was laying into her over the phone over petty shit and crazy shit. My (our) daughter stayed living with my parents after we reunited 4 years ago and it was a mutual and legal agreement. I've come to find that even though she spends summers with us, something has been off with hubby. Hes gone anywhere from 4 days to 4 weeks at a time. The more he's home though, the more ridiculous it could be. So I thought. I can't tell you how many phone calls turn ugly because of Pete and Repete. Eye rolls have quadrupled every call It never ends and for the last several years I've always thought I'll take one or 100 for the team and suffer in silence so that my daughter would be spared but apparently that's not happening. It was pointed out by my dad to my husband after daughters panic attack that he observed that she would be her normal happy self but after talking to my husband (her dad) she was sad. This was brought to husbands attention and now we are at a place where he's nothing but defensive and paranoid and completely aloof and disregarding to anything that is critical of his behavior. After a week he still insists daily on bringing up his wrongness and defiantly insists I agree and I don't therefore as he puts it "I'm not on his side" so next cones the threats of canceling trips to see her perform after bitching how much we miss her stuff etc. The paranoia is becoming way too much and I have very little sanity left in me. He can suck the life out of me in less than 5 mins. My friend happened to hear him rant on tonight and kept mouthing to me "wtf is wrong with him?" And after I hung up and we had a moment of silence she's like "God damn, we haven't seen each other in months and we were having good time and convo and he fucked that all up". That is how 95% of calls end. Anger, receptiveness of his points or whatever I disagree with are basically regurgitated daily, weekly and for years. In just over a week we have a 25 hour road trip each way and I'm pretty much guaranteed it's going to be 25 hours x's 2 of this crap along with other crap set off by billboard signs or whatever has consumed his brain in the past year.
Ive read responses here that are current and past and though no one has a unique experience as I, everyone has parts and combined it's a 100% match I feel blessed because I feel less alone