I feel so overwhelmingly pressed on to write this that I am doing it while at work. I am here to tell my story, in short, on how this book saved my 11 year relationship to my partner. I am a 32 yo female, we have 5 kids, your's mine and ours situation and he is 39. An 11 year relationship would seem crazy to anyone but to someone like me, I find it normal. I have planned 3 weddings to this man, we have separated 3 times, and after reading this book, have now been in a committed relationship still living apart, for 3 weeks. Kind of funny how all those three's keep popping up huh? (ADHD moment, I have OCD about finding likeliness to everything.) Now this relationship has had it's fairy tale moments, isn't that why we are so gosh darn lovable as most ADHDers are? And following those moments can be some of the most horrifying, mind blowing, knock down drag out arguments, fights, or splits you have ever seen, although the break ups were always mutual and never ugly, we just couldn't put our finger on why we couldn't make things work in our relationship. Early on, our relationship was fine, mostly normal arguments and nothing we couldn't work through. But as time went on, that all changed. In 2012, we had our first break up. That was nearly 6 years into our relationship. The next one, 2015 and the next 2017. Each one lasting longer and longer. The 2012 only lasted a month, 2015 about 6 months and 2017 I have now been moved out since March 1 of this year. Since 2012, I have worked so hard to figure out what was wrong with me. Why I couldn't marry this man, commit to this man and not to mention our 5 kids. Ups and downs, long distance at times due to his job, and just a lot of built up aggression on both parts. We didn't know how to communicate, argue, love or take care of one another. At some point in my journey to figure out what was wrong with me I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar, given medication and almost committed suicide over it due to the misdiagnosis. That whole ordeal lead me to cancel our wedding, for the 3rd time and move out in 2015. That's when the real digging had to begin. A little background on who I am... I come from many broken homes, have relationship issues that stem from childhood abandonment by my mother and eventually by my father as well. Pretty much my whole family at some point has left me and all I was left with were my children. I was with their dad for 6 years and then my partner now for 11. Being in a relationship has been all I ever known, but to be honest, I haven't felt love until now, after this book. It has been a rollercoaster of events in my life that has mostly been bad due to growing up in a home of abuse and neglect emotionally and physically from my mother. I always knew I was different but never knew why. I can remember being 12 yo and sitting in my closet contemplating suicide b/c I was hurting so bad on the inside I just felt worthless. Having children now, I cannot fathom what I would feel like if one of them felt this way due to me. I just can't. There has been an ugly curse on my family for generations. I am the one to break it. I broke it. I refused to let my children grow up the way I did and the way my brothers eventually did as they got older due to lack of emotional support, love and a general sense of safety in the world. No child should ever have to endure that kind of pain and end up fighting it off until the rest of their life, b/c essentially, you can manage it, but it will always live inside of you. For me, I turned to God at a very young age to help me through this. It was not until 2017 that I can honestly say, I have worked thought those issues, made peace in my heart about my dad and mother and the rest of my family, God says if people aren't good for you then they need not be in your life. There is a reason for all of this, and I am at peace with Gods plan.
So now that we are working through abandoment issues, I no longer think Borderline Personality Disorder is an issues, we can move on to ADHD. I was diagnosed about a year ago due to lack of focus at work and other stuggles work related.