You can't make me do anything!

OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANCE SYMPTOMS:  Adults with ODD defend themselves relentlessly when someone says they've done something wrong. They feel misunderstood and disliked, hemmed in and pushed around. Some feel like mavericks or rebels.   WHAT CAUSES ODD?  It's unclear. It could be that a pattern of rebellion sets in when children with ADHD are constantly at odds with adults who are trying to make them behave in ways that their executive function deficit prohibits. By the time kids have had ADHD symptoms for two or three years, 45 to 84 percent of them develop ODD, too.

Now add a spouse who tries to make things better HER WAY...the only way she knows how to be a mother and wife.  Guess who is the authority figure for the rest of their home life together no matter how far out she goes to be warm and compassionate and compromising and understanding and supportive as she can be?  She is still an authority figure to rebel against.  The more she tries to partner, the more he feels the need to go his own way and do his own thing to feel his own power covertly.  This is my observation and conclusion in what has been happening in my world.  Come to think of it, DH was never one to join team sports...perferred golf.