I've read the books, H has read the books, nothing is happening, I'm not being listened to at all.  You all are right, this relationship is stupid and I'm stupid for continuing in it and I'm stupid for thinking that reading books about it will help anything.  I'm leaving my husband and I'm not reading anything else about ADHD and I don't care.  Thanks for your support, I'm not coming back here because I literally don't want to deal with anything to do with ADHD again and I hope I never meet anyone else with it.