Hello all.
I’m 71, diagnosed ADHD and EUPD and my 4th marriage has failed. I thought it was good, not perfect but solid.
I have serious neglect and attachment issues from an early age, birth to 3 years. I also have RSD and many classic symptoms including a poor sense of self, impulsivity and childlike tantrums. I’ve had a lot of therapy (I did train and practice myself) and I find meditation and journal writing helps. I’m looking at doing some shadow work.
My wife is high functioning autistic.
She just wants to live life alone. She likes to be quiet and organised and spends a lot of time doing puzzles and jigsaws and reading.
She wanted a man partly for companionship and partly to fulfil her biological need for sex. Now that has gone she no longer wants me around. Companionship for her is doing things together. For me it’s having each other in our lives romantically.
I’m in a mess with all this. She owns the house and I’m being disposed of. I’ve always been generous and warmly affectionate while she watches the money carefully and takes more than gives. She rarely shows me affection.
It this understandable behaviour for someone with autism? She says she has done this before with partners and that she feels guilty about it.
I feel that, to an extent I have been used and abused, albeit I am aware that my tantrums have caused damage and I must take responsibility for that.
She has a son who is 25 and ‘off the rails’ in terms of behaviour. He is an alcoholic, currently in prison and he has threatened and attacked me. This has caused added stress for us both.
I find her behaviour odd, and wonder how much is attributable to her autism.
I wonder many things. Like my codependency, need to please and a very wounded child.
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