Before I say another word. I want to express wholeheartedly that I come to this forum to share my deepest and most intimate thoughts because I know, there are poeple here I can trust. Having said that, I'm going to to say a few things that might not be well received by everyone, especially those with string religious ( Chriatian in particular ) conviction. What I'm about to say, is approximately 63 years coming to my best recollection....age 5.
What I'm doing now, is making a list of people who no longer get access to me. These people are off my list.
Picture a water pole match. The ref on the side of the pool has a stick with a flag on it. When someone commits a foul, the ref raises the flag and points to the offender. That's what I'm in the process of doing now. I'm raising the the flag, and pointing my finger at the offender and saying: flagrant foul, your gone. ( ejected from the game ). The game being access to me.
And it starts at age 5 when I was kicked out of Sunday School for questioning her, ultimately pinning her down to the "well, what about the Penguins??" ...which was when I was thrown out for "being disruptive". I can say this now, with absolute assuredly, that I did NOT feel rejected, I was pissed. So mad, that even my mom backed down and tried to calm me down.
Now, in my adult self, I realized "who" that Sunday school mother was. That was a gatekeeper who was taking moral authority over me for questioning her authority. That's who that was. I was absolutely serious in that moment. I wanted an answer...instead I was "thrown out". That's exactly what that was, which tells me exactly "who" does not not get access to me anymore. Flag on the play...your out !
This is the value to me now, in countless ways. I'm speaking for me personally...I'm not saying these are bad people. I'm saying...these are not the people for me. End of story.
What I have determined is, dogs are superior creature in every way to humans. And if I want companionship...dogs are the clear over any human I could ever meet. Dogs display qualities that I admire. And most importantly...dogs don't judge. Judgemental people...Flag: your out. People who see themselves and morally superior to other humans. Flag on the play...your out! And the list goes on. I have been thinking about a dog though. My favorite breed is a Pappilon because of their amazing intelligence. Unbelievably smart (scary smart) and my last one ( Poo ...for little shit ) was the best companion anyone could ask for. I think dogs are simply superior to humans in every way. Their integrity is impeccable and they operate on unconditional love and their currency. The problem is....Pappilons are affectionately known ( by some ) as drop kick dogs. Lol. Meaning, their really super cute and serve no other value ...other than, a companion. But their drop kick size is what's my issue now. I've got a short list as my: "best replacement for a human category". Right now, it's down to an Australian Sheep dog or a Blue Healer. But, as a third...not quite so rugged or working class dog is a Sheltie. Kind of like a bigger Pappilon...but still more of a companion dog than the other two. And since I'll be with it the entire time, I'll be there for it in everyday. I think they're big enough, not to be a target, smart, loyal and more of a stick like glue dog. And they Mr. handle both hot and cold weather. I'm thinking a Sheltie might be the perfect fit for me. I had this realization, that dogs are superior to humans in most ways but especially in companionship. If thats what a want, then a companion dog is the best choice. That's all I'm missing in my personal journey of self actualization.
The rest, as I started this post, is determining who gets access, and who does not. That'll take a while. By nature, I'm not very judgmental but in this excersise...I'm have to be.
