Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am looking for some advice. My ADHD partner treats me badly and when I ask that she checks her tone before she speaks to me, I am met with silence, cold shoulder and sheer distension towards me. Her words are harsh, rude, short, often aggressive and cause me to retreat for my own Mental health and wellbeing. Since her diagnosis, every little thing is about ADHD and it often feels like because of her diagnosis, she has a free pass to speak and treat me however she wants to. I don't know how to love her anymore.

I was meaning to write this over a week and half ago and my own challenges kept me from doing so - as the non-ADHDers, you know the one I'm talking about: when something good happens, it's really hard to celebrate it bc you know something disappointing is right around the corner. But I thought to myself just now, 'just write the good thing anyways as this might help you and someone else to see that there CAN be joys in this type of marriage'. 

My ADHD husband is 58, recently diagnosed and now medicated with no improvement, only worse.  I have already taken the decision to end the marriage but we have to live together until financials are sorted out.

He has told me within the last 6 months that he has had suicidal thoughts for most of his life (I was unaware of this) and last Christmas said to me "was I trying to get him to hurt me" and "are you trying to get me to kill myself".  I appreciate this type of language is making him appear that his actions are the fault of someone else, like it's not him it's me (gaslighting) but the problem is that he is saying about killing himself to other people too, more that he has suicidal thoughts.  When he does this they think that they are the only person he has shared this with whereas in reality, he says it to anyone that he has even a superficial friendship with.  

My main concern is for the people he draws into this because they feel very burdened with this information and try to then give more time to him, one of the people has recently become a father for the second time and has many new commitments to think about and because they feel they are the only people with this knowledge, they feel they have a responsibility towards him which I feel is unreasonable of him.  I honestly do not believe my husband has any intention of committing suicide, his doctor is aware and it has been on record apparently since he was a teenager but when I asked him if he had ever tried to kill himself, he said no.  

I wandered if anyone else had any experience of this and could give me some advice on how best to handle it and what to tell him when he seems to want to draw others into this.

if I genuinely thought there was a risk to him and he had the intention of doing this, I would immediately seek medical help.  I honestly believe it's just something he's saying.

I am seeking healthier ways to handle my ADHD partners frustration. His frustration tolerance is especially low after work, even with a "booster." His tone with me is often frustrated. It's something he struggles with in his family of origin with his sisters and past coworkers as well. He's worked on it and his work situation is actually quite healthy now but we are struggling at home. I'm going through my own health issues and having peri menopausal rage at times that I'm working on.

Drives me up the wall.... She just will not sit still.

It can be 11pm at night and she'll pop up and decided xyz needs to be done. Never chills out ever.

I work all day and evenings want to relax. Not see her rushing around in the kitchen, living room. Watching TV is out because shes back and fore and wont sit down.

What to do? I've tried to ignore but its stressing me out.

I just wanted to thank all of you who have posted about your life and your struggles on this forum. Your stories have helped me to make the decision to divorce my husband.

I am new here and I am hoping that maybe someone else can offer assistance or suggestions for coping with the impulsive road rage that happens with ADHD.

Whenever we go anywhere my husband will always end up frustrated with the other drivers (they are speeding up and slowing down-pick a speed!) or the amount of traffic (why are we going so slow??) or drive aggressively (tailgate, yell out expletives, etc.)

I usually sit in the passenger side gripping the armrest and praying lol. I put a crystal in the cup holder to rub for good energy when I am full of anxiety.

I don't even know where to start. I am just so frustrated with dealing with my ADHD husband. We've been married almost 30 . The biggest issue for us is his emotional dysregulation (anger) and  communication issues. I am constantly interrupted and stifled. I cannot express anything without being talked over, interrupted or argued with. We did the marriage sessions, which  is an 8 week course. He's always too busy with something.  It took us one year! And we don't practice any of the strategies Melissa taught. He has been promising to get treatment but has been unsuccessful.

This is my first post and thank you for reading!

I am currently married, my husband was first diagnosed with ADHD this year at age 58.  This is my second marriage, his first, we have been married for 10 years, no children together, I have an adult daughter from my first marriage of 22 years.