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So I'm not sure if this is the right forum as I've just been diagnosed ADHD myself. First this made it even harder to understand my relationship. My partner has bedtime revenge issues causing sleep loss and morning rage. I do not because I've known since I was a teen I need loads of sleep. He uses his powers of perception to tell others (inc me) what is wrong with them. I use mine for empathy. My partner has no friends. I have dozens inc ten or so very close friends. My partner parents his kids permissively and impulsively. I was a Gina Ford mama and I'm authoritative.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD this year, we have two young children and the fights have become increasingly constant. I don't know how to deal with the situation anymore, because I feel exhausted. I would really like him to seek treatment and objective tools for everyday life. He started therapy last year, after many requests from me, but this year he hasn't returned and isn't receptive to any help.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD this year, we have two young children and the fights have become increasingly constant. I don't know how to deal with the situation anymore, because I feel exhausted. I would really like him to seek treatment and objective tools for everyday life. He started therapy last year, after many requests from me, but this year he hasn't returned and isn't receptive to any help.

Ok, so to keep an extremely long story very short, my partner with ADHD has been in the process of recovering from recent family trauma from about 4 years ago and how it still very much effects her to this day. She was very slender when I met her, extremely active, frequented the gym, and used to love getting out-doors and doing a bunch of the activities we both loved to do when we met. On top of that, she always used to be great about keeping up with her half of the chores and keeping the house clean, over all.

*Update:  He didn't end up taking the kids to the hospital to meet the cousins.  I don't know why because we had a discussion earlier in the day in which we kind of went round and round.  I kept calm, but emphatic and he knew I was very distressed by the whole thing.  He didn't agree with me or tell me, or even the kids, that it was off, but he ultimately didn't go at all, either.  He had to go out of town for a couple days, but we will be having a talk when he gets back.  I won't make him choose between me and them, but I will not accept him pressuring me about this ever again.  Hard, non-

We separated. I've mentioned here before that 5 years ago, I stopped overcompensating for him and the result was that everything in our lives are falling apart now, because he didn't pick up the slack.

Anyone here who can share their experience of being the non-ADHD and if reading the book and doing the non-ADHD partner support group helped them in the long run? And I'm not talking about if it saved your marriage or relationship....I'm talking about for YOU specifically. Did it help you get to a better place for yourself and perhaps a knock on effect was your kids? And creating a better environment for them too? 

I am fearful of bringing up difficult subjects, because it often devolved into explosive tirades.  Also, the weight of being the "capable one" is becoming unbearable.