Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm brand new to this site and forum.  Also, new to the whole adult ADD concept.  Thanks to the persistence of my fiancee, I have finally conceded that I have ADD after researching the topic and taking informal tests.  I/we have also been reading about how to live with the condition and work to modify behaviors.  My big challenges that are irritating her and stressing our relationship is my impulsiveness when speaking.  I tend to interrupt her frequently and I often speak in fragments before organizing my thoughts.  This makes my communication hard for her to follow.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks, after a major meltdown on my part a while ago, where it was clear that if I didn't draw boundaries for myself and stick to them, I was going to have a breakdown - I have gone into quiet, reflective mode. I'm just doing me, not pushing myself one iota beyond what I can comfortably do, concentrating on self-care activities, and focusing less on the ADHD problems in the household. Everyone seems calmer, and is indeed taking more responsibility where they can. Win.

I am even getting sick of myself for all the complaining I feel like doing. If I'd only get a break . . . . 

My husband has always had issues with impulse buying. It was literally one day before our wedding that I learned he had a bankruptcy in his past. Big surprise (sarcasm). We have separate bank accounts because I do not trust him with money. 

Since I just mentioned the trauma bond and my X's coolness...or "lack or warmth" in our latest text messages,  I was surprised when she contacted me to come get some mail of mine, and return a few items I grabbed of hers by mistake. I wrestled with whether I should bother returning the items but decided it was the right thing to do....in keeping true to myself if anything.

 Earlier...she had said she'd just leave the mail under the mat to come get while she was at work so the invite to come when she was home was already a change. Noted.

I'm just curious how this next step works.  I'm done attempting to help my husband with ADHD.  Nothing works and I'm simply tired of trying.  Honestly, I don't want to divorce for financial reasons.  I like the lifestyle we have and I don't want to give that up.  I don't love my husband and I don't hate him - we are more like roommates where one person does most of the work and the other person is more than happy with that arrangement.  We have two kids so most of our interactions are as a family.  We don't fight because I gave up trying to get support out of him many years ago.

Before I say anything else, I want to be clear, I'm no one's role model. I'm not even remotely suggesting anyone ( intentionally ) follow in my shoes on just about anything. That's not my intention in making this post. The fact that that I'm just so wierd however, does prove to find some interesting facts that are quantifiable. The numbers don't lie. 

What it is up for debate yet, I have some very strong ideas to go with these numbers. I think my ideas are at least worth exploring.

Content Warning: Contains reference to suicide.

Hello everyone, I hope y'all having a healthy beautiful life!

I was scrolling through articles until I found this forum, so I really wanted to share my situation.

TLDR:

I've been dating a woman for the past 2 years ( distant relationship , we met couple times where I hosted her and her kid to my summer house) , she was married before to an alcoholic guy, they got divorced 6 months after she gave birth to her kid ( she is 8 years old now the kid).

It’s my first time posting but wanting to feel like I’m not alone in my marriage to my adhd (diagnosed but untreated apart from 4/5 adhd cbt sessions) husband of 13 years.

My husband shared that he was diagnosed with adhd as a child. Our first couple of years together I didn’t notice significant difficulties, what I did notice I swept under the rug-mostly that he didn’t connect emotionally very well, some absent mindedness etc. But we appeared to have a strong friendship, he was kind, went out of his way to do things for me, fun, etc. Things began to shift after the birth of our second child about five years into the relationship.

I'll just say up front, this might take some time to unravel. I don't like the idea that I have trauma bonding because it makes me feel weak to say "I can't help it", because something inside me is not in my control....yet.

In the aftermath of my breakup, I'm now getting a better picture of what "it" is and, as usual, it's not always simple but it is easy to understand once I identify "it".