Recent forum posts (all topics)

I feel so guilty because I have been with my husband for almost 12 years, married almost 10. He has severe ADHD and I always wrote it off as an excuse but now I really recognize how big of an issue it is. We are in counseling and it came to my attention how hurtful I have been by blaming him and not accepting that he has a condition that is difficult to deal with. We are separated, because of me, for a few months now and I am trying to fight for the marriage but I have caused him a lot of hurt. I am not sure what I am looking for but I wanted to share with people who get it.

I had a moment this morning ( tears ) that had nothing to do with grieving. It had nothing to do with the past....it was more like a "home coming" experience....as if you've been searching for something all your life, and then finally finding it inside yourself...that's the location...it doesn't exist in 3-Dimentional time or space.

And here's the striking contrast between where I am ( my true location ) and the true conditions that exist.

For context I am 8 years into a relationship with my ADHD partner, who I also got engaged to 2 years ago. I also JUST figured out 2 years ago that many of the issues in our relationship can be attributed to his untreated ADHD (along with my lack of knowledge around ADHD), even though I knew all along he had ADHD. He has chosen to be unmedicated for most of his life, and for the longest time I supported that decision. 

That time of year again--a time when I sit at my computer and he gets frustrated for having to hand over papers and documents to me. He has never once--not once--done our taxes or took it upon himself to find someone to do them. The one year I waited on him to take care of it, I ended up rushing to a storefront rip-off place past the deadline. I'm thinking this is the end of this. I'm going to look for a professional tax person.  

My not so neurotypical family of origin is ruled by a principle: nobody has a right to expect anything from the others, and nobody should feel obliged to make efforts. 

This is nice for individuals. Makes everyone relaxed and guilt-free. However, it isn’t great for keeping extended family together, or to strengthen those who need it. Or to even out responsibility for family connection.

Man: You really hurt my feelings, are you going to apologize?

Woman: Okay...

I'm sorry you have feelings, that must be exhausting. 

This was a "I spit out my coffee"  moment. I still can't stop laughing!!

It was the first thing that popped up as a reel...on social media.

It depicted just the woman ...including an eye roll at the end.

What I remember, was my ex saying .."can you try to be a little less sensitive.?"

It resonated so deeply....I belly laughed...as a way to start my day.

"Art without intention is just an accident."

5 Days after separation. 

Things I've learned so far. I know there's poeple on this forum who are no longer with their ADHD partner. Instead of keeping these discoveries to myself...I think there's some value here that other could use.

So I agreed to meet my ex for a chat yesterday. He wanted to talk over stuff that had come up in therapy, see if it chimed with me. I was hopeful - maybe his therapist had got him to reflect on his behaviour; maybe he had begun to see himself better, and the impact of his behaviour, and that would enable us to move forward, get on better.

I have not posted or commented for a year now, and so I apologize for the very long post. 

After reaching an all time low in December 2024, and giving my husband an ultimatum, to get treatment otherwise I would need to leave to save my sanity, health etc., 2025 went relatively well. The meds didn't solve our problems, but the effects definitely helped him to be more present, more attentive, more regulated, and this led to him picking up some chores and habits which DID help bring me back from the edge of burnout, and also start chipping away at 20 years of resentment.

I’ve been married almost 19 years. I almost divorced my husband 2 years into our marriage primarily because of his rage episodes. So much damage was done those first 2 years. Then disaster happened—his sister died a very sudden tragic death. I got sucked back in during that crisis and he swore he would change. He saw a psychologist and went on medication and for a while was doing much better. We also went to marriage counseling. He is currently on antidepressants and sees a psychologist, but I believe he lies to her.