Hey everyone, looking for some support/help/relatiability.....
We've unfortunately gone through a tragedy with saying goodbye to an immediate family member dying suddenly. While he was older, he got sick quickly and just went so quickly, it's been a whirlwind of 10 days. In the time our family member got sick, he passed away less than a week later and then we had the funeral and services that are relevant for the country I live in super fast - which is normal by the culture here.
The person who passed away was a MASSIVE support to me in my struggles with my husband who was diagnosed 3 years ago and the last 2 years have been hell, to be perfectly honest. If I'm brutally honest with myself - that quiet voice in my heart knows what's up: that this marks the beginning of the end for me and my spouse and THAT really scares me. I don't want it to be the end, but my husband is STUCK. Very, very very stuck. And we are both dealing with grief VERY differently. Which is OK! Two things can be true though... we can both be grieving and s**t/life still needs to happen. I'm not talking about things or balls that can be dropped for the time being, I'm talking about the bare-bones of day to day mundane life that NEED to happen, e.g. food/eating, getting back on track for sleep, going back to school, waking up each day and looking after ourselves...that kind of thing.
I also lost someone very close to me no less than a month ago (early October) so this is a massive double whammy and I feel so alone about it all. I think I'll need to find a new theapist sooner rather than later but I have come to understand that I can not rely, expect, hope, wish, listen or believe anything that comes from my spouse's mouth OR get any type of support that I need. It's just not going to happen. And with that - I don't know really what to do about it becaue it just makes me so much more sad on top of the grief that I'm also feeling.
And before anyone suggests... leaving just isnt' an option for me at this time. It's way too scary and it's not the right choice and frankly, there is literally NO WHERE to go for me so it's off the cards.
Anyone else dealing or have dealt with some massive grief on top of their dx partner? We are also about to find out if our 12 year old son is autistic and it's just more things on my shoulders wtih my body/heart screaming 'enough!!!'.
