Do Others Define You?

ADHD & Marriage News - February 1, 2018

Quote of the Week

“I felt very strongly I was not going to be defined by what someone else deemed appropriate"

- Megyn Kelly

Do Others Define You?

One of the awful things about ADHD – you spend a lot of time with others trying to define you – either your ADHD symptoms (which can inhibit your choices) or partners, friends and more who suggest you should behave in certain ways.

Here’s an aspect of treating ADHD that we rarely talk about – good ADHD treatment opens the doors for you to be you. For example, if you need to stay engaged in an important conversation or with a task at work you can do so if you have good treatment in place.  Before treatment you were ‘victim’ to whatever your ADHD brain might tolerate, and staying engaged was much harder…perhaps impossible.

With those additional options you are able to make choices that better reflect who you wish to be as a person.  That means you get to define who you are, rather than have your ADHD define you.  You can move through the world with greater confidence in your ability to follow through on decisions and choices.

When people with ADHD ask me whether treatment will change them I usually say “I hope so! I hope that it will allow you to be exactly who you wish to be, without the chaos.”  With good treatment you can still be silly, or creative, or fun, or even chaotic.  But you can also be more attentive, organized, etc.  Don’t let the ‘other’ of ADHD define you.  Optimize your treatment for ADHD.

To find out more, go to my home page and download my free e-book on optimizing treatment for ADHD.


Join me and many other ADHD experts for the free online ADHD Women's Palooza..... Feb 5-10. My talk is on 2/9 at 10:00am EST. Register here.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at, including free:

  • -   Online treatment overview;

    -   Downloadable chapters of my books;

    -   A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

      -   A large number of blog posts on various topics;

      -   Referrals.

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session begins in the Fall of 2018.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. can literally change your life!  Question? Contact Melissa.

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© 2018 Melissa Orlov