Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“The person who turns to connections that matter most to him - a friend, a family member, God, a piece of music, an old mentor, a playing field that's full of good memories, a garden, whatever truly matters - will ignite a spark as if flint hit stone.

It is the connection that makes the spark. Neither the flint nor the stone does it on its own.”

- Ned Hallowell

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I like to tell couples that what they need to focus on is their relationship, not their marriage.  This is because it is the many connections that you make between you that strengthen your lives together.  Unfortunately, sometimes “marriage” falls into a place where it’s mostly about logistics – who takes the kids where (and when), how the chores should be divided, etc.

When making a decision, ask yourself “how will my decision impact my relationship with my partner?”  In that way, you focus on connections, rather than stuff…and as Ned says, that’s where the spark is.

© 2012 Melissa Orlov