Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“Maximal efficiency is not necessarily a value to strive for; inefficiency often produces social benefits.  (For example) Not knowing exactly how much readership each story got probably led newspapers to extensive coverage of state government.”

- from an article in MIT Technology Review about the use of large data sets

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There are times in a marriage when efficiency is important – when we have very small children comes to mind so you can keep them safe by (say) putting up that baby gate on time.  But there are many MORE times when it’s not nearly as important as we think.  In my household, for example, we certainly have routines.  But if someone falls out of them, I have learned to put my relationships first and efficiency second.  That means sometimes things don’t go very fast and sometimes it may get messy.  I used to complain about it and now I (mostly) don’t…and everyone (including me) is happier with the change.  Because the reality is – it’s a lot more important that everyone feel loved than that everything be picked up.

Think about what really needs to be efficient in your household (paying bills is a good example) and how much of what you worry about can actually wait.  Then, take some of your worry and “efficiency” energy, and spend it on your relationship building instead.

DON'T FORGET - My next couples seminar starts in less than a week (Tuesday, Jan 28).  Sign up now to start 2014 with a relationship builder you won't forget!  Information about the course is at this link.

© 2014 Melissa Orlov