Hyperfocus and Courtship


ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - June 5, 2013

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“She carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl…”

- Evan and Jared


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Hyperfocus and Courtship

The singer of this song must not have ADHD!  If he did that girl would have NO DOUBT about his feelings!  You have not been courted until you’ve been courted by someone with courtship hyperfocus ADHD!

That hyperfocus is the result of the dopamine rush that infatuation brings.  We all get this rush, but there is a larger gap between “infatuated” and “normal behaviors” for someone with ADHD because normal state is “distracted.”  And chronic distraction feels like “my partner doesn’t love me” to a non-ADHD spouse.

If you have ADHD, schedule (literally) time to attend to your partner without any possible distractions (that includes no phones!!).  Good times are right before bed, weekends and date nights.  Clear your space and mind of everything but your partner.  Blocks of “attend time” will reassure your partner you still love her/him, even if you are often distracted.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues.  In addition, you'll find in-depth essays and a terrific recorded in-depth seminar to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.
Hope to hear from you there!
Melissa Orlov

© 2013 Melissa Orlov