In My Dreams

ADHD & Marriage News - May 3, 2017

Quote of the Week

“The sun’s coming up

She’s pulled all the blankets over her

Curled in a ball like she’s hiding from me

And that’s when I know

She’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up

For terrible things I did in her dreams…”

- Ben Folds

In My Dreams

I admit it.  I often work through things in my sleep.  It turns out this is common, as one of the things that our brain does is process while we sleep.  Unlike some, I tend to remember my dreams…and even if they are bizarre, which they often are, they feel very real.  Which used to create some real problems for my husband when we were struggling.  I might go to bed angry or frustrated, dream about something awful or crazy that he was doing to me in my sleep…and wake up feeling nasty towards him.

It became something of a joke between us.  “Okay, what did I do now?  What will I suffer for today?” When we started to joke about my dreams it became easier to remind myself that those awful actions signified something, but not that he had driven a bus into a tree and torched our family and the neighborhood…or whatever the bizarre action was that had happened.  I could step back and say ‘what am I working through here?’ without being pissed all day.

Do you ever wake up pissed at your partner?  If so, consider taking a moment to ‘unblame’ your partner for your dreams and reflect upon what you might need to constructively discuss, instead of carrying your hard feelings around all day.


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For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course:
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This highly acclaimed, eight-session phone seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship. The next seminar will begin in October.
If your relationship is in pretty good shape but you are looking to feel even closer, consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. can literally change your life!  Question?  Contact Melissa.

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© 2017 Melissa Orlov