- Representative from the House of Peace, Ipswich, MA on NPR
Power struggles abound in relationships impacted by ADHD. Non-ADHD partners seek to exert control of the chaos that having a partner with ADHD introduces into their lives. ADHD partners bristle at being parented and overseen. Both seek improved feelings of security.
That’s why I was so moved by this quote. The way to move away from parent/child is to learn just how different the two of you are…and just how hard it is to be your partner. It’s tough – really tough – living with ADHD day in and day out if you’re the one who has it. And it’s also incredibly challenging to be a non-ADHD partner who is responsible for much more than s/he originally expected due to an ADHD partner’s struggles to get symptoms under control.
You both may feel abandoned, put upon, and sad.
Compassion for your partner is the way out of this. By seeking to be compassionate, you start the process of rebuilding your relationship – providing space and inspiration for you both to do all the hard work that lies ahead. It’s a far healthier – and more successful – path than choosing anger, resentment and conflict.
Are you actively seeking to be compassionate with your partner?
Did you join me last night for the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar? .... If not, it's NOT too late. You can access the recording (plus any future session you may miss) and join live the next seven sessions. Receive individualized attention and get your questions answered directly by me. Register here.....the next one won't be until the fall.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my highly acclaimed couples course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples turn their relationships around. It's available live or as a self-study course and is a unique resource for creating the joy you thought you had lost. Read testimonials here - it really does change lives for the better!