“We believe we are ‘thinking machines’ that sometimes feel, but actually, we are ‘emotional machines’ who sometimes think.”
- My therapist
I spend a lot of time thinking about relationships…too much time, according to the (excellent) therapist with whom I’m currently working. Because sometimes the only way to get through pain is simply to FEEL, not think.
Moving through the emotions associated with relationship trauma is a messy process – pain, sadness, grief, regret, more pain…mixed with conviction, surprise, gratitude, joy…up and down and, sometimes, completely surprising. It’s a roller coaster of extremes, but well worth riding. I’ve found that if I experience these emotions in my body rather than just think about them, they can provide me with directions – ‘go here’ and ‘don’t keep doing that.’ ‘Find a new way to engage because the old one is too painful,’ etc etc.
Understanding one’s life (and ADHD’s role) is immensely important. But just thinking and trying to understand doesn’t move you far enough. Experience is the best teacher. Put another way, a good cry can be cathartic…and leave you feeling empty. And then the question becomes, what do you want to fill that emptiness with? What feels right? It’s a great question to ask.
NEWS and EVENTS:
➤ REGISTER NOW for the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' LIVE 8 session Seminar - Begins January 11, 2023. This is MY premier seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD.
Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My highly acclaimed 8-session Zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS January 11, 2023.
Non ADHD Partner Support Group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group - Registration now open. Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.