“Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings…To (fear vulnerability and) foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.”
-Brene Brown, in Daring Greatly
Some of the most exhilarating moments of our lives are when we are also vulnerable – that first declaration of love, for example…or bringing home that really, really tiny first baby as a newly minted parent. We remember these moments precisely because they are, as Brown suggests, moments of intense emotions.
Struggling couples often make themselves less vulnerable to avoid pain. But in so doing, they also box off their ability to feel the intense positive feelings that can come with putting ourselves out into a new place in the world. We risk shutting down and becoming flat…or simply miserable.
Go ahead – reach out. Make yourself vulnerable and available to all of the life that is happening around you. You might do that outside your relationship, or with your partner…with the help of a therapist if you are ‘stuck.’ But don’t hide. You will miss out on life if you do.
My next live 8 week couples seminar - given by conference call - starts January 18th! Don't miss this opportunity to give yourselves the gift of a more loving relationship for 2017.
Regular readers - get $25 off by using the code TIPS17 and pressing “apply” at registration. If you have questions about the course, please contact me.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This highly acclaimed, eight-session phone seminar, which starts January 18, 2017, has helped many couples turn around their relationship.