Being Open

ADHD & Marriage Weekly Tip - January 18, 2016

Quote of the Week

“Meditation practice is neither holding on nor avoiding; it is settling back into the moment, opening to what is there.”

-Jack Kornfield

Being Open

Opening up to the present moment is something at which I didn’t used to be very good.  Instead, I dreamed, planned, and sometimes, worried.  I brooded over what I had already done and how I might improve upon it.  

Those things aren’t bad on their own – in fact, they can be a useful tool for learning.  But over the years I have taught myself to also be able to savor each day.  This was partially out of self-defense.  Two members of the household with ADHD lived mostly in the present.  To not have that skill when I needed it put me at a disadvantage.  Having cancer also helped.  When you face something that big, you realize that a lot of what we worry about isn’t really worth the effort.  (Everyone who has had cancer says this – and yet the rest of the world continues to worry, worry, worry.)

So now, I live my life with a spirit of adventure.  Opening up to what is around me – savoring it, and being grateful for what is there right then.  Think of it as an expanded vocabulary – I can still worry if I really need to…I just choose to be happy in the present as my default.  This shift in my attitude has had a marvelous effect on my marriage and my husband.

To enjoy the present moment more, consider starting a gratitude journal.  Leave it by your bedside and write three sentences each day starting with the words “I am grateful for…”  It’s a great way to spend just a bit more time thinking about your present moment.


It's Not Too Late My next live 8 week couples seminar - given by conference call - starts TONIGHT - January 18th AT 8:30PM ET! Register here. Each session is recorded, so if you miss this one or live overseas, you can easily stay caught up.  

Don't miss this opportunity to give yourselves the gift of a more loving relationship for 2017.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course:
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This highly acclaimed, eight-session phone seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship.
If your relationship is in pretty good shape but you are looking to feel even closer, consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. can literally change your life!  Question?  Contact Melissa.

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© 2016 Melissa Orlov