ADHD & Marriage News - March 12, 2020

Quote of the Week

“You don’t hear anything when you’re yelling.”

-Dick Smothers, in a talk at Chautauqua Institution


We all know how uncomfortable it is to be on the receiving end of yelling.  Either you want to run away or your rage at the injustice of that yelling boils over.  That’s the ‘fight or flight’ instincts setting in.

But there is another part of yelling that we don’t think about as often.  That is the part that Smothers was referring to – where your own yelling interferes with your own understanding.

It has been my experience that yelling is not just a release of anger, but a red flag that says “something needs attending to here!”  We all have a right to our anger – just as we have to all of our feelings – but why are you yelling?  What do you need to hear that you aren’t able to in that moment?

You won’t be able to ask yourself that question right away.  But later, when you have time to reflect, what might you discover?  It is when we are brave – when we ask “what do I need to hear coming from inside myself or from my partner?” – that we learn and grow.

What do you need to hear?


Is there hope?  This video may help you answer that question

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.


Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session starts Fall 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

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