“Emotions are tunnels. You have to go all the way through the darkness to get to the light at the end. And if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you’ll get where you want to go….” -Emily Nagoski
Putting on the Brakes?
Do you ever feel as if your emotions are all around you, and all encompassing? Perhaps overwhelming? I like the analogy of emotions being like tunnels because it supports what Nagoski suggests – that taking a series of small but forward-moving actions is what can lead to a good outcome.
The reverse is also true – if you put on the brakes and stop in the middle of the tunnel you will remain in the dark. For better or worse, you must traverse the length of the tunnel to get out of that dark place and be healthier. (Some call this ‘completing the cycle of emotions.’)
Fear, anxiety and overwhelm are three emotions that sometimes make it hard to feel as if we can put one foot in front of the other…and yet we need to find the courage to do so. Just one small step at a time – acknowledging the emotion; accepting that it is okay and normal to feel that emotion; sharing it with someone who cares; going through a pain cycle; and various ways of healing are all ways to traverse this tunnel.
Are you putting the brakes on in your most important emotional tunnels? If so, are there small steps you might take to start moving forward in your healing process again?
If you feel caught in the "middle of the tunnel", consider taking my live ADHD Effect In-Depth couples seminar given by phone, starting in October or as a self-study course. It is a unique and excellent resource for changing your relationship for the better…and creating the joy you thought you had lost. Read the testimonials here - it really does change lives for the better!
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples courses: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Next live session starts October, 2016 and the self-study is available for download if you can't wait that long - this eight-session phone seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship; and Recovering Closeness in Your Relationship - a 7-session self-study seminar loaded with critical information, tools and weekly exercises to regain your closeness, dreams, friendship…and yes, improve your love life!