“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” - Oprah Winfrey on Twitter
Who Are You Better Than?
One of the challenges of working with couples is to get them to see that the process of improving their relationship is not about ‘fixing their partner’ but about addressing their own issues. People get this concept intellectually, but it is really hard to let go of the idea emotionally. ADHD partners often think the non-ADHD partner’s anger is really the issue, while non-ADHD partners are likely to blame their partner’s ADHD.
These attitudes leave them stuck. You can’t make your partner ‘better.’ You can only make yourself better. And, as Oprah suggests, this is a process of making yourself better than you were yesterday – it’s one day at a time.
The next live ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar starts February 17th! Learn more here.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at my marriage and ADHD website, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar. This eight-session seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship, and is given by phone, so anyone may participate. The next session begins February 17th.