Change Doesn’t Always Feel Great

ADHD & Marriage Weekly Tip - October 14, 2015

Quote of the Week

“The truth is, change doesn’t always feel great.  It can be scary, intense, challenging.  It can strain relationships.  It can upset the equilibrium…” - Pilar Gerasimo, Editor of Experience Life Magazine

Change Doesn’t Always Feel Great

Some of the singly most intense periods of my life have come in the midst really significant shifts in direction in my relationship with my husband.  We’ve had a number of these.  In the end, the change we’ve created – and the very, very significant learning about each other that we’ve gained in that period of change – has contributed to the strength of our connection.  But, oh boy!  That change can be so hard!

There’s the stress of the unknown future (“Can we withstand the pressure?”)  There’s fear (“What will happen to my life if everything falls apart?”)  There’s grief (“Why did we get here?  Why couldn’t we do better?”)  And there are the really intense conversations – some with anger, some with tears.

I have learned, over the years, that intensity is not an indicator of whether or not we will succeed or fail.  In fact, in my experience, a certain kind of (non-angry) intensity usually indicates that a brighter future may await.  To find that future, one must not let intensity scare you…rather, think of it as an indication that change is happening.  Focus, instead, on making that intensity work for you by managing anger and staying constructive.


New Seminar! Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship - begins November 10. Become more intimate on every level!

The seminar consists of four sessions, with an optional fifth session on Recovering from Affairs and Deception. It includes course exercises (roughly one hour per week) and recordings of all sessions. All questions will be answered and shared.

Is it time to recover the intimacy you so cherish? Learn more here.  "We took your class and I could write you a “chapter” on how much you helped me."

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples courses:
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - began October 6 - this eight-session seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship, and
Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship - begins November 10 - This new seminar is designed to help couples become more intimate on every level. Both seminars are given by phone, so anyone may participate.
Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD wins 2 book awards!

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. can literally change your life!

© 2015 Melissa Orlov