Perfection and ADHD


ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - February 26, 2014

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I really dislike the idea of genetic testing to produce more perfect babies. Here I am, with learning disabilities and ADHD – I might well have been one of those babies who got weeded out. Yet I’ve turned out very well…”

- My daughter, age 23



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Perfection and ADHD

Every once in a while one of your kids says something that really sets you on your heels. This comment, at last night’s dinner, was one of those times. It came during a free-wheeling conversation about resilience and how important a trait it is.

How does one respond to that sort of expression of feeling like an outsider, making it in a world that doesn’t fully appreciate your qualities? Or to the resilience that she has developed over the years of learning about herself, in all her strengths and weaknesses?

If you are in a relationship with a person with ADHD I urge you to put yourself in my daughter’s (or your partner’s) shoes for a bit and think about what it would be like to be this person every day. I’m proud of my daughter’s ability to express this…and humbled by remembering the daily struggle she faces with her ADHD.

We have much to learn and think about if we just listen…

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues.  In addition, you'll find in-depth essays and a terrific recorded in-depth seminar to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.
Hope to hear from you there!
Melissa Orlov

© 2014 Melissa Orlov