|ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - October 9, 2013|
Heart to Heart
Tips for Thriving in your Marriage
|Quote of the Week||Quick Links|
“In more than 1,000 studies conducted by researchers across the globe, they’ve found that goals that spell out exactly what needs to be accomplished, and that set the bar for achievement high, result in far superior performance than goals that are vague or that set the bar too low. This is true regardless of whether the goal is something you adopt on your own, something you are assigned to complete, or something that you develop jointly with your parent, teacher, boss or coworkers.”
- Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD, from her book, “Succeed”
|Setting the Bar High|
Halvorson is a leading researcher on the issue of goal-setting, and an enthusiastic supporter of setting goals for oneself. What’s interesting about her words to me isn’t that she supports goals (that would be part of her job description, I would think!) but the emphasis she places on setting goals that you need to reach for. In fact, she advocates for setting high, but reachable goals, with the idea that the need to stretch oneself motivates you to make more effort.
She also talks about an interesting parallel idea – that those who know that they have set a challenging goal will more often succeed. In other words, they embrace the challenge and rise to it.
What about those with ADHD who may feel more overwhelmed than inspired? Work with a spouse, professional coach or therapist to help craft a good, step-by-step plan of attack – one that includes mini-deadlines is often best. They can help you prioritize smaller parts of a project and feel less overwhelmed. Then you’ll be ready for the challenge!
And, make sure to measure your success. The act of setting up what you will measure (i.e. carefully defining ‘success’ and in what timeframe it should happen) often helps clarify the task at hand.
I WILL BE SPEAKING IN THREE EVENTS COMING UP: GOODTHERAPY.ORG ON FRIDAY, OCT.11 (FOR THERAPISTS) THE ADDA WEBINAR SERIES ON OCTOBER 23, AND THE CHADD INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON NOV. 8. SEE MY EVENTS SECTION FOR MORE DETAILS.
|For those in marriages impacted by ADHD|
|If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.|
Hope to hear from you there!
© 2013 Melissa Orlov