“The idea of short-term goal-setting is to motivate me but not overextend me. Rather than thinking, ‘What do I need to do six months from now,’ I’m thinking, ‘What do I want to do today? How do I want to improve today?’"
- Student and All-America athlete, Sally Ceesay (Bates ’18)
Setting Goals Like a Top Athlete
Do you think big? That’s a good thing, for sure. BUT, when trying to reach your goals thinking about the really big thing you are trying to accomplish can feel overwhelming and confusing. Instead, it can really help if you focus on what you need to do today.
This is particularly true if you have ADHD or are living with someone with ADHD. Because while big may feel beautiful, the ADHD mind lives in the ‘now.’ Which means that reaching goals is almost always a process of creating one really great day after another. Non-ADHD partners who do not adopt this approach when trying to improve their relationship risk either losing their ADHD partner’s attention (boredom, distraction, or difficulty planning far into the future) or simply overwhelming their ADHD partner.
To make the most progress, focus on what YOU yourself can do TODAY to make your day – and your relationship – as good as possible. Over time you and your partner will amass a whole lot of those days and your relationship will be that much closer to that happier ending.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This highly acclaimed, eight-session phone seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship. The next session begins in October, 2017.