Yes my spouse has add. Yes he is taking a med which can give him a weird flat affect sometimes. We've gone to counseling and it just made him angrier. He states more often about how he does not love me, but then will say it back to me if I say it first. I do love him - after almost 30 years. So do the kids, and he they. But over the last couple of years, It seems that with this new diagnosis of adhd, his symptoms have gotten way worse as has his anger impulsivity. He has not done it recently but his physical aggression agst me has gotten worse. His verbal and emotional abuse can be horrible. We can be intimate one moment and immediately he disappears and upon return, says he was just getting F**ked by someone. Horribly crude and rude comments making me feel degraded. I am sick and afraid, and this is not normally me (though I can barely remember who that is anymore). Does it even matter if he has adhd or just that he is so mean and occasionally cruel. I want the man I love back on a regular basis, I dont understand why he is doing this. I know how it sounds... Pathetic, and there is no one I can talk to anymire it seems without triggering pity, a scolding, or my friends quick and utter disappearance (too heavy to talk about). I feel very alone except for the kids. And I am really tryong to keep It together for them. Am I fooling myself that this will work out?! I just feel so lost. Whats best for the kids? For me? For my husband?