I've read through many of the posts but not all, so I may have missed this subject elsewhere.
My husband was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago (text book case with hyperactivity and all) - he is in his late 40's and didn't know until then. We have been married for 8 years with two young children. I was relieved with his diagnosis, because I hoped that it could help him. At the time, I'd have to say that his ADHD didn't really bother me much. I could almost deal with the 17 different jobs in the last 8 years - I think I could now get a job as a career councillor! But it did bother him a lot. He badly wants to have calm thoughts and lose the anxiety (a lot of nail biting and headaches his whole life). He is now trying his third or fourth medication, and we aren't seeing any change - except for the worse.
His last job was a good one but the commute was too long and he only lasted half a year, and then he had a big breakdown, like nothing I've seen before. He was weepy and sad and seeked help everywhere. He was put on anti depressants, and eventually a new ADHD medication and then another one when that one didn't have any effect. since this crisis started it has been absolute hell. He has been very angry, blowing up every single day, when usually it was once or twice a year at the most. The worst of it is, is that it is mostly directed at my 6 year old son, and he seems to be getting all the blame for why he is angry. Whenever I interject and stick up for my son because his anger seems so unreasonable, he blames me for making the kid not listen to him. I can understand that, but I try to be as fair as possible in my view of the situation before taking any sides. Usually I just try to distract them from eachother. I'm trying to teach my kid to walk away from his dad now, because the verbal abuse never stops... it just goes on and on, and the only way I can think of getting out of it is to leave him to mutter to himself. I'm not saying the boy is an angel by any means, but I do think the adult should have more control of himself, and it is getting to the point where I don't want to go to the washroom or take a shower for fear the 2 of them will get in a fight while I'm 'gone'. That is just ridiculous to me. My daughter is a very good kid and is pretty therepeutic to my husband.
My question is this: What could cause this sudden onset of anger? Is it the medication (anti depressants, or ADHD)? Is it still part of his melt down? Is it us? Is it the ADHD? I don't get it, and I'm getting worried for safety, because he doesn't seem to realize how frightening he can be when he gets mad. I always thought I had it good that he didn't have a temper and maybe that is why I could deal with all the rest of the crap that comes with ADHD. I just don't want him to harm my kids, or have my kids dislike him.
any thoughts? thanks!