There is a standard "joke" that "on the internet they'll never know you're a dog". As it turns out, we have our very own "dog" on this site. For those of you who have been concerned about a poster named "Clinging to Life" and the histrionic responses of "Normal Mom" I would like to share that sad news that they are the SAME PERSON (also the same person as "Wild Child"). We know this from the log-in/out records for the site. Incontrovertibly, these "three" people are one person, using the same computer. Within minutes of logging out as one identity the user would log back in, from the same computer, under a different user name. Unbelievable!
It is unclear why this person feels it's important to do this. Since she (or perhaps he?) has been copying her posts from this site onto other sites, and then using them to trash this site, it's possible that there is some sort of vengeance, or perhaps competitive, reason. Or, perhaps this is a person who has a mental illness other than ADHD? Or just likes to see if they can get attention? We'll never know.
The stories of these various "characters" are completely opposite, and designed to be slightly outrageous. Whomever this person is, they are just plain making stuff up.
It is tragic that someone decides they need to create this sort of "event" in the midst of a place that helps so many people. You can rest assured that we will be watching for a "repeat performance" much more carefully in the future.
We will be going through the website and deleting the posts from this poster, since it's all a lie. In some cases this means that responses to these will also be deleted. We'll use our judgment and try to maintain the maximum amount of your real content that we can.
In the meantime, I invite the person masquerading as Normal Mom, Clinging to Life and Wild Child to take your tricks elsewhere. We don't need your lies.
- MelissaOrlov's blog
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I find this interesting
Submitted by Aspen on
as far as the intuitiveness of ADD. My ADD husband has not personally read one post by Clinging or by Normal Mom, but because the posts of both have been so frustrating and infuriating to me, I have told him about them and even read him portions of both.
His conclusion almost from the beginning is that those posts were fake. In his eyes they were too were too obnoxious to be real. I'd begun believing that Clinging was fake ever since the *thesarus* story & I was fairly sure after the *suicide* post, but I wasn't sure enough to refrain from posting to her just in case it was real.
I never realized Normal Mom's story wasn't real--I just thought she was a self-righteous jerk who was always trying to stir up trouble.
What kind of person tries to derail the help that other people are seeking and cause trouble?? What a sad thing to do, and what a sad person to act in this way! I've been so tired of what I saw as Clinging's attention getting posts & angry at Normal Mom, but now I just feel sad that this person decided to act in such a despicable way.
I know I'm new to the site,
Submitted by tazangel36 on
I know I'm new to the site, but I feel almost betrayed...I can't imagine how some of the rest of you feel that have been responding to these 3 personas far longer than I...
Living with, maintaining a relationship with, and fostering a lifelong partnership with someone with ADHD carries enough challenges. Why invent trouble and drama?? I just don't get it...But maybe because I'm at a point where I need real solutions and suggestions, not sympathy from random internet strangers...OY.
Hopefully, no one on this site suffers irreparable harm from the actions of this person. Here's wishing you all a good day, and that you continue to come back here for help and support, regardless of this one bad apple!
Unbelievable.......I never would have guessed......
Submitted by ajr on
WOW ~ Ive been more "observing" the posts for the last 6 months and "Listening & learning" more than contributing and have to admit I was frustrated reading posts since January, as there was a level of "Hostility and anger" present.... I felt when reading...It was painful to read the "tone" of these posts....especially when in the past I was getting so much benefit from earlier postings. It was painful....
Melissa, Thank you for clearing this up....I was feeling horrible about this "Clinging to life" Normal Mom situation, and moreso I strictly observed, rather than posted, as I didnt feel qualified to attempt to communicate with this person(s).....albeit we now know the truth and it has been uncovered.
I feel relieved that the posts have been more positive and helpful in the last week....Thank you for all you do and Arwen, Dan, breadbaker and some of the "regular" posters.... you all provide valuable insights and Im looking forward to getting back to a true support network...of sharing ideas related to ADD...
I feel " SNOOKERED"..... but am glad the truth is uncovered...
Although we know the truth
Submitted by brooks30 on
Although we know the truth now I am still very concerned about this person's health. This is a clearly troubled person and I wish them the best in getting professional help to find whatever it is they're looking for.
Submitted by arwen on
I had also conisidered the possibility that Clinging and Normal Mom were the same poster (triggered by a variety of indications that I don't want to specify in case "they" would like to refine their techniques for future efforts), or possibly two posters working together (which I think is more likely) -- but I have been concerned about the alternative possibility that this was one individual with a multiple personality disorder. We'll never know whether it was just some trickster(s) "jerking our chains" or whether it was an indication of something far more serious. So I remain concerned that there is somebody out there in need of real help.
But although it may seem ironic, I learned some worthwhile things as a result, nonetheless. Some of "their" criticisms were valid, even if expressed in a disagreeable manner. I don't think the only lesson we should take away from this is that there are troubled people in the world who might post on this and other sites in troublesome ways. I don't know about anybody else, but this whole can of worms caused me to do some soul-searching from a different angle, and while I doubt "they" had the intention of doing any one else good, the truth is that it has provided me with some good "reality checks".
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
Submitted by brooks30 on
Melissa, I am relieved to
Submitted by Jeannie on
Melissa, I am relieved to hear that my hunches were right. Like Aspen, I suspected this person wasn't real. But I hated to call him/her on it since by chance she was real, it might cause problems. The clue that I saw was that the writing style would change. I didn't catch it on Normal Mom, but she didn't post quite as often. I have seen this behavior by immature teenagers or young adults on other forums. They get a kick out of stirring the pot so to speak. I wouldn't feel too sorry for this person. People like this genererally have no feelings for others and cannot be helped.
Submitted by Astrea on
just before I saw this post, I was thinking about the situation and it occurred to me that for her attitude, the username 'NormalMom' didn't quite fit and could be considered a little inflammatory by suggesting that as the non-ADHD member of her family, she's the 'normal' member of that family.
w o w
Submitted by Clarity on
I kept an eye on the conversations with Clinging and certainly felt concerned though I did not join in as I felt the situation could be pretty volatile. Big emotional play here huh? We've all been duped! Though it does feel familiar, whole lot of talk...
Is it possible that more than three "characters" are involved?
Submitted by ADD.divorcee on
I, as others, having been reading, with interest and concern, posts of certain "characters". I find it incredulous to know that "Clinging" and "Normal Mom" are the same person. I did find it unusual that these two posters chose to "pick on" or "challenge", with such vehemence and upset, the views of someone each didn't know.
The whole situation, especially when "Clinging" left her final message, led me to think of some of the other posts that somehow "irritated" me, either in their "philosophical" tone and/or "I know I'm right" attitude. I prefer not to be specific, since I may be totally off-base in my thinking. Recently, it occurred to me that a couple of other "posters" here may also be "fakes". I didn't respond to any of those posts, since I felt any comment I added that disagreed with the poster's original premise would be dismissed. In my opinion, if a poster appears to have a very strong opinion about how he or she was treated by his or her "ex", and if that poster feels that their "ex" was "in the wrong", and that they have been very "hurt" by the "ex" and continue to talk about the "ex", then nothing I could say would help the poster's opinion.
If you've followed what I've said thus far, I wonder if other people who post here, or others who just read the posts for information and comfort, now question whether the person he or she responded to, or read about, is real. I went back and looked at my own personal history. I haven't posted much; however, it bothered me when I realized that a couple of my answers were to a person who "was just a character".
I guess what really bothers me is knowing how I felt when I read "Clinging's" last comment. I really felt "her" pain. And, I know others here did, also.
I'm done. Just needed to vent.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Submitted by Flower Lady on
This does not surprise me
Submitted by Flower Lady on
For many years I was an administrator on a breast cancer support site, and unforunately we, too, had imposters post on the message boards. Some were just "stirring the pot" as we liked to say, while others harrassed posters, used terrible language and even threatened suicide.
It's truly horrifying when people who are dealing with cancer are subjected to the likes of these disturbed individuals. When a patient is facing the possibility of dying, it is beyond reprehensible. I can still remember the awful fallout from those posts...the damage inflicted on innocent women at the worst time of their lives.
I'll never understand what motivates a person to lie like that....is it just an attention-grabbing move or do they really intend to hurt others?
Thanks for monitoring these folks, Melissa...kudos to you. :)
Submitted by mrudolph on
Dear Ms Orlov:
I also run a web site and have had some of the same experiences that you describe. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, this is also a Drupal-based site such as I run!
As a new member, I was poking around and I noticed a puzzling interchange here (content/adultry-and-add). I'm wondering if this might be the same kind of person (if not the same person?).
Adds a whole new meaning to "with a grain of salt"...
Submitted by LavenderLisianthus on
This seems to be a great example of the importance of taking others' criticisms with a grain of salt -
One can never know the exact intentions of other posters who do not seem to exercise the respect/ conduct necessary for discussion boards.
It is unfortunate that such "imposters/pot stirrers" felt the need to "act"/"stir a pot", but I believe that the majority of our (sincere) posters here are too resilient and intelligent to allow themselves to be negatively affected by polarizing/conflicting "posts", aggravating though they may be at times.
Thank you for calling everyone's attention to this so that everyone is aware of what has been going on and can be reminded that not everyone who posts here is genuine/who they say they are or concerned for everyone's well-being.
Unfortunately it is a necessary reminder of the need to be more critical/discerning in our interpretation of the posts.
I do think, however, that the majority of posters ARE genuine and have definitely spoken from the heart and offered invaluable pieces of wisdom from personal experience- that I, myself, have benefited greatly from. That is just as obvious, if not more so, than the "foul play" that is a reality of forums.
My comment for "Normal Mom, Clinging to Life and Wild Child", or shall I say " 'Normal' Mom Clinging to a Wild Child's Life" - Please be careful with your actions and your words, for they reflect much more greatly upon you and your character/credibility than anything else. There is something to be said about sincerity - yes, sincerity can be both positive/negative/emotional (but genuine and heartfelt, for the most part)- (PS, Your apparent need to put the term Normal in your username infers that you are either trying to convince yourself of the feeling or trying to assume that others would assume that you are indeed 'normal', whatever that me mean to you, without realizing that they will be able to make their own judgments based upon the evidence/ideas that you provide in your actual posts. ie why do you feel that the "normal" clarification is even necessary? if anything, it causes us to question your own judgment if, indeed, your posts do not paint you to be (quote unquote) "normal"...)
You may just need a diversion or creative outlet for your energies/boredom. May I suggest taking up running/yoga or perhaps poetry/songwriting/writing in general (ie NOT on a forum, but more for your personal benefit (notebook/ personal computer))
I am genuinely concerned for you, and I am sorry that you may only receive such concern when you give such outbursts. Love and kindness can be achieved much more easily and readily through genuineness and an openness to look for and accept love and kindness, while not attempting, successfully, or unsuccessfully, to deceive or hurt/criticize others in the process. Please give it a try. (Yes humility is necessary for this, but humility is one of humanity's great characteristics, if exercised properly and often enough) I feel the need to express this, because perhaps no one else has made this clear to you.