Double Standard

My wife seems to often have what seem to be double standards.  She will become angry with me for doing exactly the same thing that she does, and then I get angry because I feel like I I have been treated "unfairly."  A recent example is this:  My wife often does not respond to me when she is playing a game or reading something on her iPhone.  I have told her how I feel when she does that, to no avail.  So I have learned not to take it personally.  The other night I was in bed playing a game on MY iPhone and she cuddled up to me.  I continued playing the game.  And at the time I was aware that I was doing (for the first time) exactly what she does to me all the time.  She got furious!  The next day, I pointed out to her that she got furious at me for doing something she frequently does with me.  And I told her that it didn't feel "fair" to me that she would get mad at me for something she frequesntly does to ME, expecting me NOT to get mad when SHE does it.  She would not agree that it was the same situation.  Then, a couple of days later, I cuddled up to her in bed while she was reading something on her iPhone.  I knew she would ignore me, and that was fine.  I wasn't expecting anything from her.  Still, after several minutes I said - I'd just like to point out to you that you are doing exactly the same thing that I did the other night when you got so angry with me."  She immediately stopped reading and said "I was just stopping!" And again, she refused to acknowledge that they were the same situation at all.  How do I get her to see that if she does something and expects ME not to get mad, that there is something unfair in HER getting mad at ME for the exact same thing?