Easily Irritated and Misunderstandings

I am so discouraged. I try very hard to be supportive and understanding and adapt my life so that things will go well with my ADD spouse. Although I have 20 years of marriage with which to draw thousands of examples, I don't think I need to here. Many people will have lived with what I live with and will not need the anecdotes. But when I am genuinely making innocent conversation and honestly trying to be understanding and then to be slammed with a statement from him  like "With that kind of condescending, insulting garbage coming out of your mouth is it any wonder I live with stress!"...I am left stunned. How can my husband hear something so opposite to what I meant or said. It is not rare. It is constant. It seems the only way I can keep peace is to drastically limit my words. To lower my face so no response  can be seen. And to take his side and agree with everything he says. Oh he can be so cutting and cruel! If I deserved it i suppose it would be easier to handle. But I live with false accusation. And so, like I said, his easily offended nature had made me so discouraged.