The end of what never truly was.....

Hi All...I've entered a new phase of life when it comes to the relationship (the suppose to be marriage) that I've been in the past 12 years....I've read many of your post over the past (6) years as you have mine....In mine, and most of you guy's, there has been very very few happy endings....As I set here w/ my coffee this morning (reading a few post) the reason for the lack of happy endings is pretty clear to me....It's selfish based priorities;...Just like one of the last posters was stating about her husband....Overboard and thoughtless when it comes to sex in the marriage....So many of us can identify w/ her....I sure can....I make sure my wife orgasm's at least once every time we have sex...Why? Because it's my responsibility to please her....But, that is where it mostly ends when it comes to anything mutual....What is common for her is....Delay it as long as possible, control everything about it, position's etc,.. Then complain about it (no matter how gentle I am, no matter how much I make it about her needs) while I'm trying to enjoy us....The minute she cum's I better be about done because she demand's to lay there untouched and enjoy her after glow....You know, a man will put up w/ a lot in order to have some semblance of intimacy....LOL Oh me.....But, thankfully I've reached the place I don't feel like I have to seek it from her, so as to create peace, and destroy just one more self inflicted suffering opportunity....

Anyway this post wasn't suppose to be about sex (but, it obvious to me, that I'm mad about not having it, the way I allowed it to side track me....HA HA).....I asked her to leave over a month ago, but, she just isolated herself in the guest room (she has mostly been living in there for a year or so.....About a week ago (once she realized I was honestly done, she still don't believe it, who would, after 12 years of pursuing peace w/ her, no matter what was going on between us) she started engaging, like everything is fine and dandy....You know the MO....But, I'm not biting, I'm done.....

The thing is (What I really want to post about) we've never had a right relationship....The simple truth of it is, she has never chose to honor her vows, and invest herself in the simple day to day things all good marriages have....As a matter of fact, she has selfishly fought it....So the best thing I can do for her is to step out of the picture so she can live the life she wants to live.....And, that has never been one that looks any thing like the one God's word says we should be enjoying....The bottom line for me, and many reading this...Nothing we can ever do will make them take on a thankful spirit that desires marital unity, vs the selfish and self absorbed mind that they live in, justify having, and nurture each day....

Oil and Water will not mix.....I plan to be kind until she decides it's over,and leaves....I would pack and leave, but, this house belongs to me, was paid for by me and my late wife....She still has a 4 bedroom house setting empty (hoarder, can't get rid of anything) that she can move into....It's 2 miles away...But at this point that would feel like a million.....I'm excited to get to clean my environment up again....I'm no clean freak, but, I clean as I go, and my place stay's pretty orderly, put things in their place....But that part of my life has been undetectable for 12 years...LOL.....

I want her to be happy and entertained (that has been her main priority since I meet her)  and it's not happening with marriage vows hanging around her neck like a mill stone......Beside's I matter also....I can find new friends, and enjoy my family....I will be fine.....I hope this post helps you to see the reality of your own lives...I'm no advocate of divorce, not by a long shot, but, I dislike abuse, abandonment and indifference even more....I don't have to use this break up as an occasion to sin....If that was my goal, I would have left long ago....

blessings to all...

c