I've been dating my GF for 6 months now, and she is self proclaimed ADD (No treatment, but willing). We are very much in love, and so far I am willing to help her and us cope. I have picked up some slack on chores, and been more proactive with helping her remember details (meetings, appointments, etc...) to try to take some of the "load" off of her and relieve some stress. I will admit, part of the reason I want to take away some of the stress is so that she can relax long enough to focus on us. And that is where the problem lies. I tend to be the more romantic and emotional of the two of us (after reading this site that seems common), and after me being in a loveless marriage for 12 years, perhaps I need some more intimacy/affection/attention than normal.
As the hyperfocused courtship period of our relationship is wearing off, I find that she has been more apt to put other things first, making me feel less important to her. In doing some reading about how ADD minds work, it was suggested that the ADD mind has a hard time prioritizing tasks, meaning that all tasks have equal importance. My question is, if I am just a task that her brain is assigning equal importance with everything else, is it really possible for her to love me? Is she capable of love when the thoughts of our relationship are weighed evenly with some burden or chore she must perform?
We talk openly about a lot of things, however the conversations have never been ADD-focused as I was not aware of how much could really be attributed to it. Our normal conversation is that she is annoyed that I think something she is doing is because of me (her being angry, upset, whatever) so then she feels like she has to cater to my feelings, while I feel like she is always putting everything else before me and our relationship. Thanks to this site, I now see that there is a deeper reason for it and that she does in fact love me, but I must admit I am a little scared about this cycle.
Any insight as to how to approach the conversations and day-to-day dealings would be much appreciated!