Clearly it's frustrating that ADDers don't notice messes and undone chores. But I'm also reading that a lot of the non-ADDers are worried about nagging.
I would LIKE my boyfriend to nag me more. Not nag, but remind.
A lot of times I don't do chores because if I even notice they need to happen, I get sidetracked. BUT if my boyfriend tells me they are bothering him, or he just needs help because he doesn't have time to do it all, I am almost certain to get it done (not awesomely, but done). They stand out in my head as the important things to do.
The problem is, he doesn't seem to like to remind me. I know he likes coming home to see I've emptied the dishwasher or gone shopping, but he rarely actively tells me, "Can you take care of this today?"
I don't know if he feels bossy or like he doesn't have a right to tell me how to spend my free time, or if he'll overdo it and ask for so many things that I won't be able to prioritize them. Or maybe he's holding out for me to do it without command because that's like Christmas for him ... ?
Look, I'm not talking about criticism ("Why don't you ever go shopping?" "Why is your mail always all over the table?") but like, individual reqests: "Could you get the moldy fruit you bought 5 weeks ago and didn't eat out of the crisper?" He wouldn't even make it that pointed; it'd be like, "Can you get the expired food out of the fridge?" But he's never even asked me to do that.
Can someone explain this for me? Does it really suck to nag? I thought it was suppose to be fun to tell others to do your bidding.