Okay everyone--reality check here. DH and I got into a BIG argument this morning. Here's the deal--we see a marriage counselor on Fridays at 5:30 when he is in town. We have not been able to see the counselor with any regularity because of how much DH travels for business and we really need it! So it's been three weeks since we have seen the guy AND YET... Our oldest son is a JV water polo player (sophomore) and he is really good so this evening the coach put him on the varsity team. That is huge. It's at a school about 40 minutes away. The bus leaves right after school so they have time to get settled and warm up before a 5:30 game. But...this morning DH says to me that he forgot we have our counselor appointment and he has to cancel because oldest son took a 45 lifeguard shift at the Y (that is his regular job) and then DH is going to drive him out to the water polo game. DH told him he could do that. Um, WHAT??? WHAT??? First of all, I would bet that if you don't ride the bus with the team you won't be playing with the team, and secondly--a 45 minute shift? He only makes $8.00 for an hour--how much can he possibly make in 45 minutes--maybe $4.50 after taxes? And for DH to get him to a 5:30 game right at rush hour on a Friday night is going to be darn near impossible. This school is 40 minutes away in no traffic. And we will be charged $120 for the missed counselor appointment. I sat down at the breakfast table with hubby and oldest son and spoke in a really calm neutral voice about how upset I was about this and DH was furious with me. I got the whole "you are 100% right and I am 100% wrong-you never make mistakes-I am a screw up" speech (which I could pretty much recite right along with him at this point...). I was standing in the kitchen door at one point and he shoved me out of the way. Oldest son is now mad at me that I made such a big deal of this and that I upset Daddy because "Daddy can't take it". Since when is he such a delicate flower??? And what is oldest son thinking, not riding the bus with the team??? The appointment is in our google calendar that I maintain for the family that DH has access to although he rarely gets it right when putting info on it and he doesn't have it on his phone, despite me asking him to put it there and him saying he will. He says he didn't think to look at the calendar. Well, then what do we have it for?
And--of course I make mistakes, so how do I respond to that? Of course I forget things. Of course I have double-scheduled things and then had to rearrange, so what do I say back to him for this? Generally speaking, my mistakes don't cost us $120 though. Are my standards too high not even for an ADHD person but for anyone??? And then he sent this long involved text to the counselor explaining in minute detail every little thing he did wrong in this circumstance and saying three times how it was his fault and how sorry he was. really??? was that necessary???? what is the point of that other than to look like a poor me victim. I mean seriously dude--just say we have to cancel, something came up. My goodness. So now DH is mad that I made what he thinks is a big deal about a small thing and oldest son is mad that I upset Daddy. It's going to be a long weekend. DH leaves on business again on Tuesday morning. Ugh. Leave now please....
help--somebody say something helpful--