Mansplaining: When you're talking to prove expertise rather than to connect with another person, the chances are high you're mansplaining.
OMG!!!! There is a word for this! This occurs not just in my marriage but also in the workplace, in family get-togethers, and in my own kitchen. In areas where I live and work, men take the high hand and use words without thinking that make me invisible and unheard. I have realized this before but now that there is a word for it, it is so much better to understand. I have been on committees where I was the chairman but a man would try to take the helm and I would have to fight for my right to my own more experienced opinion in my areas of work. H will tell me how to parent even though I have done 90% of the parenting. H tells me how to drive my car, how to eat, how to talk, how to clean, how to load the dishwasher, how to throw away the garbage. I can't tell you how many times I have said to him....."Duh....." But he doesn't stop...keeps telling me how to do what I am doing while I am in the process of doing it ... his mansplaining is not meant for us to connect but for other reasons. I often feel he does not talk to partner or share but out of habit and pure self aggrandizement.
It is nearly impossible to connect with him. He seems to need to have dominion over me or at least dominion in words and tone....always an ulterior motive behind what he says. As though in his world, I am the only place where he feels power over and needs that for his ego. Being vulnerable to other men but thinks he must put out a masculine tone and words with me.
"You put too much water in the sink for the dishes. You MUST only fill the sink 1/8 full or you are wasting water". We live nearly on top of Lake Michigan....What? We have water here. We use it. It evaporates. It goes back into the ground as rain here.
"You MUST pile up the dishwasher or you are wasting water." Then I must re-do half the dishes because the water does not have the room to get to them all.
"You catch more bees with honey." What? In other words..."shut-up". I already have a soft voice. HIS voice is authoritative even when he is asking for a favor.
"You MUST soak the glass jars to remove the paper labels before throwing them out." WTH?
"Nothing must go into the garbage disposal." WTH?
Let me turn this around for those of us who are accustomed to men telling women what and how to do things...... "Hold the hammer like this.....That way you won't hurt yourself. Lift that bag with your knees bent, that way you won't hurt your back. Use the razor in downward strokes, that way you won't give yourself a rash. ALWAYS unplug the electric plug when not using it so that the electricity is not wasted." "You catch more bees with honey." See how high and mighty (and unnecessary and stupid) this sounds?
I'm sure there is a word for women telling men how to do everything too. Oh yes, there are many: Nag, Bitch, and lots of other words that should not be put on social media.
Mansplaining. I'm glad there is a word for it.