My DH has ADHD and I have no sexual desire in our relationship at all. I feel like I am married to an adolescent. I've been carrying us for years, and he hasn't had a job since April. His ADHD is quite severe, and so he literally doesn't notice things - barbecue sauce on the hardwood floor, unlocked car (we've had 3 cameras and a Macbook Pro stolen out of his car), dirty baby diaper left on the floor...it's exhausting. And while a lot of the time, I'm too tired to want sex, the rest of the time, I'm not sexually attracted to him. I feel the exact opposite of cherished. I know he doesn't mean to behave that way, but it's just so unfulfilling. So, I have sex with him, out of obligation, while I think about other things and pretend to enjoy it.
I try to be like the Buddhists and release all expectations. But, it makes me want to cry...Not sure how long I can live this way. I don't want a divorce (my son is one), but how do I not detach entirely (he doesn't like it when things are "weird") while getting to a space that I don't feel irritated all the time? I try to release judgment and blame - it's really a difficult path. I will say, if I can get my mind around this, I will be a Jedi Master.