some advice .. light ... guidance

Hello! I just recently discovered this forum and maybe it is a way for me to get the help I am looking for and that so far I don't get.

Context: I am Mexican and my partner is from the Netherlands ... We met online 13 years ago .... we met phisically for the first time 6 years ago and since then we started online dating. He always expressed his problems and in The Netherlands he is diagnosed as schizofrenic with adhd. During his second visit to Mexico, he had some studies with the neurologist and she  that conclude that he had a adhd that since childhood he didn't get the proper treatment and not schizophrenic. She also said that with the right treatment, he would be able to have a better life. That encourages us, mostly him ... When he came back, in the Netherlands didnt accept his diagnosis and keep treating him as a schizophrenic with adhd ... and not only treating him with adhd. During our visits (i only visit him 3 times during these 6 years 2 weeks long each visit and he visit me also 3 times but 6 weeks long) he didn't show any episode of distraction .. the only complain he had is that sometimes it was hard for him to sleep. 

We continue our process and since January I am living in the Netherlands ... in a very small village ... and I come from the second biggest city in Mexico ... and since I have been here in his environment is when I finally understand what is the adhd ... and the process has been everything except good or happiness .. When I just arrived I realized he smokes weed 5 grams per day (that was in January but now he reduced it to only 3 grams during weekends) ... during the week he can spend most of his time locked in his room, he can come out to ask if i am ok and then go back to his room. Some days he is not hungry at all and other days he wants to finish the whole fridge. He told me that smoking weed was only to help him sleep but then i find out he also smokes during weekdays and not only on weekends. In Mexico I used to buy food for the whole week but since I get here, it is impossible because of his behavior ... it is not nice to cook a nice meal and end up eating it alone. And he keeps telling me that all of this is normal, that I should not worry. That i should let him be ... but tell how can you create a marriage with this type of behavior ... it is more like roommates. Is this normal? 

I honestly had no idea how hard it will be ... and on top of all this situation, I am also living my own process of adaptation to this country and it has been horrible. I have followed all the tips and guidance that his therapist tell me to do and they have told me that one year ago he was nothing of who he is now, that he hs improve and get better because of me ...and that is good .. but in the process I feel drained and exhausted. 

I have read posts of how some families feel that instead of a partner they have an extra child and how they dont feel supported and I honestly dont want that. And one thing that bothers me and that I keep asking him is why we dont have sex? ... in the 9 months that I have been here .. we didnt have sex .. and that is surprising, because when we meet we did it.But since I am here is like not at all. He says it has nothing to do with me but all of this is too much and I dont know what to believe anymore. 

Please tell me that someone has a similar story than me ... i havent find yet one person that has a similar situation like mine and I just feel alone. I have the support of my parents and they accept if i go back because this is just too much. I have been asking for help here but they just ignore it and i just dont know what to do. All I dream lately is to go back because that is where I feel secure and happy. Maybe im a good motivation for him to get better .. but this whole situation is draining me emotionally. 

I apreciate any feedback. And if i am wrong, I would also like to know. Just dont be too rude ... like I said, I also need help and im super vulnerable.

have a nice day.